I didn’t quite catch that…

I look back on my life from here, and there’s something I should have realised long ago.

Something that has been a constant, something that has caused me great distress, something that has been spreading malevolence through my life for a decade or more.

And that thing is Gatwick Airport.

I look back at every major delay I’ve ever suffered, and only one hasn’t been related to Gatwick*.

Some examples:

• TLG and I have logged about four hours of flight in the last week. But you should add to that at least six hours of delays, caused by Gatwick.
• In 2003, I spent a number of hours in an un-air-conditioned immigration hall in Dulles, after a flight from Gatwick.
• On a flight from Belfast to Gatwick in 2007, we were delayed, then when we finally got there we were herded into international arrivals, and our luggage went (some hours later) to domestic arrivals. That took a while to sort out.
• Barely a week later, on my return to Gatwick, I got to experience my very firstest go-around, in quite bad weather. The experience caused several people near me to break out the rosary beads.
• Some months ago, I got caught up in a mad panic among all flights to the south of England, caused by a computer falling over at Gatwick.
• A decade or more ago, I had the joy of spending over 24 hours in the departures lounge of Bristol airport, after our plane was diverted from … Gatwick. I learned to hate the voice of the woman doing the security announcement (which I can still repeat verbatim, if anyone is interested).

This is a clear pattern: Gatwick is to blame; it’s the common denominator. Yes, it’s true that a large number of my flights through there have been relatively event free, but that still leaves the 25% that go belly up.

Gatwick: it’s cursed. I say they flatten it and start again.

–
* – A bouncing check that Bulgaria Airways tried to pass off in Dublin Airport in the late eighties, as I recall. Just before the wall fell, too.