I didn't quite catch that...

Obviously, I’m a big fan of the failed EU experiment. But I’m even less in favour now that this glimpse into the inner workings of the EU have been made public.

If you’d make it nice and easy for Ireland to leave by the same door, that’d be lovely. Cheers.

A convoluted set of links (starting at Seldo.com led me to this: America 2014, which is supposed to be a sequel/updating of 1984 to take into account the slide of Amerikkka into a totalitarian state under President For Life Bush.

So, I’m not that hopeful about the bias in the novel. And, looking at the excerpts, I don’t think I’ll be reading it.

?You fucken better be scared, you little pinko traitor. I got news for you, in case you haven?t heard: God?s United States is at war, and, thank Jesus in his mercy, my brother in Christ Attorney General John Bashcrost himself appointed me to this court! And there are no appeals to Homeland Security Court proceedings, no fatcat Legal Aid lawyers for raghead-loving devils like you, no Geneee-va fairy convention accords to get lectured about! Blue-blooded American boys are sacrificing their lives in Pakistan and Indonesia at this very moment, so that even a Subversive like you can have the freedom to receive sentencing in a proper court of law. But instead of ?Thank you,? all you can say is ?Ah would like dah opptoonitee to speak wuth a lawyer.??

Ah, so the typical bullshit run rampant.

But wait, there’s more comedy gold out there! Try the reviews:

“In America 2014 Dawn Blair creates a futuristic fable for these pivotal times. The scary part is that it’s neither very far in the future nor very farfetched. America under George O. Blush is a frightening cautionary tale of what could very well happen in a country where civil liberties have eroded and patriotic fervor is imposed by the state. This is a gutsy, imaginative, important book. Anyone who cares about the future of this country should read it.”

-Hope Edelman, author of Motherless Daughters

“Anyone who cares about the future of this country should stop doing drugs and step away from the keyboard”.

But the winner:

“Dawn Blair is the George Orwell of our day, with all of his literary and political significance. This provocative book will force us to confront the manipulative, totalitarian political tendencies in our country – namely the far-flung but perhaps not far-fetched ramifications of the policies of the extreme right-wing within the Bush administration. America 2014 will soon become must reading for anyone who wants to participate in our nation’s political discourse during this important election year. In the Orwellian tradition, Blair’s book provides a well-written, enjoyable read, replete with suspense and wit, which you will not want to put down.”

-Alan J. Gerson, New York City Council Member, Chair of the Select Committee on Lower Manhattan Redevelopment

Excuse me? Orwell was so good, his name became an adjective. I can’t see the same thing happening about this author. Unless it takes on the significance of Fisk.

Only a few months after buying San Andreas, I finally got the “100% Complete” message. Finally, my life has meaning.

Form an orderly queue, ladies.

A conversation at work this evening:

Random girl: “Here, do you hate me or something?”

Me: “Huh? What are you on about?”

RG: “You ****ed me last week! And now you don’t even remember me! Bastard!”

Me: “Look, wee girl, I ****ed a lot of girls last week. And the week before, and the week before. I can only remember the best, the ones that stand out. Sorry, nothing personal, but you don’t stand out, so I can’t remember you.”

RG: “Bastard! So can I get in then?”

Me: “Not bloody likley. If I ****ed you last week, why would I bother letting you in this week?”

Can you work out the missing word?
More »

I really don’t know what this is about. Customised coffins, I can understand. But a polished uterus?

Or hows about a chicken?

Very odd indeed. And I’d hate to be the grave digger. “We’d like you to dig a grave” “OK. 6 deep, 6 long, 2 wide alright for you?” “Not really. 8 deep, 4 wide would be a start. Then there’s the ovaries to take into account…” “WTF?”

Poor grave digger.

I love 24-hour supermarkets. You get to finish work, then toddle along to a big, quiet, empty shop. Wherein you can get all your groceries etc without the usual hassle of children running about, old people crawling down the aisles, and inconsiderate people blocking every possible path with trollies.

So, yes. 24-hour shops: a good thing.

Also a rather good thing: was driving about in one of them new Golfs yesterday. Not a huge fan of the looks. Not a huge fan of the steering (no feedback). Not a huge fan of the clutch (its either on or off, none of this “slipping” lark).

But the engine is very nice. And they’ve sorted the pedal spacing problem. And the gearbox…

Has six gears. This is a first for me. I like.

May the owner have many happy miles in it. And may they accept I may borrow it from time to time…

And it would do the ton very easily. In fifth. The stats say it’ll do 119. We’ll have to see about that.

I’ve mentioned in the past that I think there should be a sensible minimum age to stand for election. My suggestion would be 30, because it gives people plenty of time to get a bit of real life experience before they’re put in a position of awesome power and responsibility.

Apparently, the Department of Constitutional Affairs disagrees.

Teenagers will be able to become MPs under plans unveiled by ministers.
In a written statement, Constitutional Affairs Minister Christopher Leslie said the current minimum age of 21 for an MP would be reduced to 18

Well, this is a monumental fuckup by the government. Sorry, this is another monumental fuckup by the government. Expect chav style to take center stage at Westminister from after the next election…

Another link found at The Policemans Blog: The Law West of Ealing Broadway. Written by a magistrate, and very well written too.

But, as always, I have concerns. And one is brought on by this post:

Speed limits have been regarded as flexible for so many years that otherwise law-abiding people are truly indignant that they have been given a ticket for doing 38 in a 30, or even 102 in a 70. Every sophistry is deployed, every loophole sought out, and the press enlisted in aid. It’s all about raising cash of course (it isn’t) and the police should be out there catching real criminals.

Speed control really is about keeping people alive ( we still kill ten people every day on the road) and successive governments have agreed to a target of reducing traffic speeds over time. It will come, but there are still some slow learners out there.

Well then. I expect to spend a lot of my time in court, by the look of it. Because stupid laws are being introduced, and then being stupidly enforced, and now look like they’ll be stupidly adhered to in court.

Which is not a good thing.

Another thing that the blog brings to my attention: loyalty card usage can and will be used as evidence in a court of law. And people stare at me like I’ve got two heads when I say I’ll never use one…

Well, this has lasted longer than I thought it would.

I’d like to be able to say that this blog has saved my life, or changed the direction that it was taking. I’d like to say that it has, in some small way, changed the world. But, however that holds for others, it’s all a steaming pile of poo with regards this blog.

This started because I thought it would be a bit of a laugh, and to keep track of links. Well, it’s been keeping track of links anyway. Some 1,600 posts, and most of them are basicially links to something. And it’s been a laugh. So we’re two for two.

Which is nice.

Ofcom: Net regulation ‘still possible’

Still possible, still unnecessary, still OUTSIDE OFCOM’S REMIT.

The blurring of boundaries between TV and the internet raises questions of regulation, watchdog Ofcom has said.
Content on TV and the internet is set to move closer this year as TV-quality video online becomes a norm.

At a debate in Westminster, the net industry considered the options.

Lord Currie, chairman of super-regulator Ofcom, told the panel that protecting audiences would always have to be a primary concern for the watchdog.

Well, ‘protecting audiences’ is a noble goal. For we all know that we, the poor plebes, cannot turn the channel if we are disgusted by what we see. We cannot stop buying products if the manufacturer advertises them in a way that annoys us. We cannot be held responsible if we are offended by things that we deliberately watch in the hope of being offended.

Oh wait, we can. We can even control the timing of tv shows these days, with things like Sky+ and TiVo. But that’s not important when a regulator wants to increase their domain, is it?

From the article:

Despite having no remit for the regulation of net content, disquiet has increased among internet service providers as speeches made by Ofcom in recent months hinted that regulation might be an option.

At the debate, organised by the Internet Service Providers’ Association (ISPA), Lord Currie did not rule out the possibility of regulation.

“The challenge will arise when boundaries between TV and the internet truly blur and then there is a balance to be struck between protecting consumers and allowing them to assess the risks themselves,” he said.

Ah. Despite not having ANY LEGAL ABILITY TO REGULATE, they may try anyway. And end up bullying ISPs by making them comply for fear of falling foul of another of Ofcom’s provisions. Well, that’s how I think it’d play out.

But there is hope:

“If content is on-demand, consumers have pulled it up rather than had pushed to them, then it is the consumers’ choice to watch it. There is no watershed on the net,” said Mr Burke.

Ah, common sense. Let’s hope it gets a chance, eh?

The tech support over at Kim du Toit‘s place has gutted the place and rebuilt.

And it looks good, with more obvious category links, and all that stuff. Plus, the glossary is now imbedded in the text, instead of being a link away. Which is nice.

Mainly, though, it’s at a different URL. So, if he’s on your blogroll, you should be updating.

Ah, good old Auntie. Always there, always willing to ask questions with no easy answer. Where are we going? What is THE ultimate question? And now:

Hunt supporters hope their legal challenge will stop the ban due to start next month. Some say they will ignore it if it is introduced. What is it that makes otherwise law-abiding citizens decide to break the law?

Luckily, the worker monkeys at I Didn’t Quite Catch That… have toiled long and hard to come up with an answer.

So, What is it that makes otherwise law-abiding citizens decide to break the law?

The Answer: Fucking stupid laws that the state has no right, rhyme or reason to be making.

Examples: hunting bans, poll taxes and fuel extortion tax rises.

I Didn’t Quite Catch That… is now applying for a grant from the Beeb, due to the educational work being produced by said worker monkeys.

The government has released the wording of the upcomming referendum on the EU Constitution. And it’s actually fairly honest:

“Should the United Kingdom approve the treaty establishing a constitution for the European Union?”

• Yes; please subjugate the nation to the whims of a piss poor effort at continental democracy and the never ending stream of bullshit regulation eminating from Brussels.
• No; do not surrender any more of the nation’s soverignity to anyone else, thankyouverymuch.

The spin’s starting up already, though. From Jack Straw:

“If we reject this treaty, Britain will be isolated and weak in Europe,” said Foreign Secretary Jack Straw, who will back a “yes” vote.

Patriots by definition wanted the UK to be prosperous at home and strong and influential abroad, Mr Straw said.

Err, no. In fact, dictionary.com says:

pa?tri?ot ( P ) Pronunciation Key (ptr-t, -t)
n. One who loves, supports, and defends one’s country.

Which isn’t the same as being “prosperous at home and strong and infulential abroad”. I kinda think that most patriots would be much happier if their nation could rule itself, rather than having a bit say in ruling other people. But maybe that’s just me.

Also, I think that the stats here are a bit misleading. I’m not sure that 51% rather agree, 34% rather disagree is true of the UK’s attitude towards the constitution. And likewise, 81% rather agree, 12% rather disagree is very high for Ireland, considering it took two attempts to pass Nice.

Acidman links to a fantastic development in employment rights bastardish cuntsucking mindscrew of a clusterfuck. A company in the states has sacked several employees because they refused to take a test for smoking.

Not smoking in the workplace, because banning that is bad enough. No, this company has banned all employees from smoking, full stop. Even at home.

Weyco Inc., a health benefits administrator based in Okemos, Mich., adopted a policy Jan. 1 that allows employees to be fired if they smoke, even if the smoking happens after business hours or at home.

Company founder Howard Weyers has said the anti-smoking rule was designed to shield the firm from high health care costs. “I don’t want to pay for the results of smoking,” he said.

The rule led one employee to quit before the policy was adopted. Four others were fired when they balked at the smoking test.

They’ve put a policy in place to fire people for smoking at home? Bastards. On the plus side, at least some people disagree with the policy. About 50,000 people have voted in the poll on the news site:

And 73% say NO. Which is a good sign. Not sure what else the other 27% would be willing to give up to the health nazis, though.

It began a couple of weeks ago. Anyone spending large amounts of money came under suspicion immediatly.

Now, it’s becomming official. As the news says, the bank is going to recall all it’s banknotes (expect fivers) and reissue them in a different design. This means that anyone who has a stash of these notes, for whatever reason, will have to take them into a bank to swap them for new ones.

And here is where it gets tricky.

He said he appreciated there would be a number of individuals, many of them elderly, who chose for bona fide reasons to keep large amounts of money in their homes rather than in a bank or building society.

“We will try to deal with those cases as sympathetically as we can,” he said, “but we have a series of procedures around money laundering legislation that we have to comply with. It is outside of our control. “If anyone was coming in with a biscuit tin full of notes or a wallet full of notes that is not an issue, but if someone is coming in with a suitcase full of notes then we would always have certain rules on how we handle that. “It is important in those situations that there is a trail and that trail is facilitated by putting that money through an accountant.”

No, you can’t keep all that money for yourself. You must put it through an accountant, who will judge, and pry, and inform the Revenue, and offer “suggestions”, and then take a percentage.

“But it is our intention that everybody who holds Northern Bank notes and has received them in a bona fide way will get value for those notes.

“We will take that on a case by case basis. I appreciate there is even a security risk with some people even coming to the bank.”

Aw. “Case by case”. By which they mean “If we like you, we’ll let you keep your money, otherwise bend over and prepare for assraping from the ARA“.

I really hate this. Because of this one fucking event, everyone will get shafted. ‘Protocols’, ‘guidelines’ and new laws will be put in place making it impossible to launder money. Which will, purely coincidentally, mean that it will become impossible to spend money without government oversight. No more being paid in cash (BOO! Tax cheats, the lot of them!), no more mates rates, no more black economy (Swindling the Common Publik, dontchano). Everything must be documentated, invoiced in triplicate, the proper authorities must be notified, and all required consent must be acquired. Before you’ll be able to spend YOUR OWN FUCKING MONEY.

Slippery slope, people. Slippery slope.

Hat tip to Slugger.

Michele has a strange picture on her site. It’s a new prom dress. While this wouldn’t normally be the sort of thing that I’d be interested in, this one is a bit… outlandish.

Hmm. Would you let your daughter out in that? If I ever have kids, that would be put in the “Yeah, daddy bought a brand new shotgun; you wear that and anyone who sees it is getting shot” pile.

That said, if any girl had worn that to our school formal… whoa momma.

I don’t know if it’s been news over in Inkland, but there’s been the obligatory Storm In A Teacup? over this. Basicially, yon new girl off of Blue Peter (Who Is Hot) has messed up a bit, first by saying that the Red Hand is a symbol that both communities over here can relate to, and then by being on the same show as a picture that showed both Britain and Ireland covered with a union jack. So, two mistakes. The second one I’d put down to laziness and ignorance on the part of someone in the studio, so a small apology is in order, then lets be with the moving on.

The first mistake has a bit more to it. Yes, the Red Hand is the traditional symbol of Ulster, and as such appears on county flags, and Gaelic teams use it. But it has, in the last century it has come to represent Unionism, specificially some of the more militant loyalists. So, while there are grounds for both communities to recognise the symbolism of the Red Hand, some of the symbols associated with it are not good.

That said, Blue Peter isn’t really a good show to be going into the specifics of this, is it? It’s a bleeding kids show, and as such should be left alone when some simplistic representation is carried out. There isn’t one symbol that Norn Iron people can relate to, so trying isn’t the best choice. So I don’t really think an apology was necessary. Maybe a bit of clarification, but not an apology.

Which brings me onto the real annoyance. The bloody sociology professor who kicked up a stink. a) He’s not from here, so why is he getting involved, b)He’s not really Getting It. Some sensible comments on Slugger:

“Like the swastika the red hand is a symbol that has been misappropriated. It is the symbol of the unionists and is certainly not signed up to by the majority,”

I think I’ll write to Strathclyde University complaining about comparison of the swastika and the red hand…

professor of sociology – that’s all I needed to read.

And Samizdata has some wisdom on the topic too, helpfully under the title: On how a good professor made a compleat arse of himself and ending on

Now, if you please Herr Sociologist, tell me why you believe the Red Hand of Ulster is merely a sectarian Unionist symbol? Could it be you have actually never read any Northern Ireland history?

I think I’ll leave the last word up to beowolf:

“Professor Miller is a recognised expert in the area of media representations of Northern Ireland”

You heard it here first, the experts at Strathclyde University couldn’t tell an arse from an elbow.

With the quality graphic:

I’m sure that everyone is aware that I’m not the biggest EU fan in the world. Which is why I was delighted to notice this story. Poland is blocking the leglislative process for a particular bill:

Poland has intervened again to stop the Council of Agriculture and Fisheries from rubber-stamping the EU directive on computer implemented inventions.

Late last week, the controversial legislation, better known as the software patent directive, was reported to be an A-List item on the agenda of the Council of Agriculture and Fisheries. This would have seen it voted through to its second reading.

Now, I don’t know an awful lot about the processes that a bill must go through to be rubber-stamped by the EU parliament, but this bit sounds promising ‘unhealthy’:

Going back to the beginning, even on legislation as controversial as this, could set a worrying precedent for lawmaking in Europe, Philpott warns. The alternative is a scenario where even the most basic tenets of a piece of legislation would be open to negotiation right up to the last minute, inevitably drawing out the process and making it more difficult to pass laws, he says.

Oh, please, let this be true. Anything that slows down the flood of new and useless leglislation from Brussels is more than welcome in these parts.

I’d like to be able to say that, if the process gets slow enough, then, maybe, a little reform would be carried out, or the EU would stop with the ridiculous directives. But you and I both know that isn’t going to happen. So the best I can hope for is that the process becomes sufficiently broken even more broken and that that causes less interference by the morons.

Small hope, I know. But it’s what I got.

Pure Derry lifts the lid on who is really stealing from the people of NIreland. (Hint: it wasn’t the people taking ?26m from Norn Bank, it was the people who put ?26m there in the first place).

One local ATM customer who phoned our offices said ?I have just been the victim ‘daylight robbery’. It?s a fucking joke I tell you. I can?t believe they are getting away with it. The Cops are so busy trying to catch the boys that skanked a few quid off the Northern Bank that the real criminals are getting away right under their noses. I get a ?42 direct payment every week and some bastard just stole some of it without me being able to do anything about it.?

After much unsuccessful digging in the murky underground of local criminal activity to uncover the identity of the masterminds, we gave up and turned to the yellow pages instead. A receptionist at one gang?s criminal headquarters directed us to the Godfather of her well known national and regional crime family, known simply as ?The Bank Manager.? We demanded some answers.

He said ?It is perfectly legal for banks to take as much money off their customers as they want. These machines are very high maintenance you know. We have to keep putting money into them every half an hour, it?s not an easy job, but someone has got to do it.?

When asked to explain the morality of charges for other essential banking services such as standing orders, reminder letters and changing bags of loose coinage, he declined to answer. He did though offer to send us a full written explanation of their charging policy in return for covering the ?12.50 admin expenses.

Fucking fees for standing orders, overdrafts, underdrafts, phoning, speaking to the bank, walking by the bank, being born on a Wednesday, the list goes on. And it’s spreading…

It has been reported that other citizens have begun taking inspiration from The Manager’s schemes. Jampuppy Dinnercake, a barman from Lisfannon has himself attributed his new charging policies to the direct influence of the nefarious mastermind.

“In my pub, we used to charge you ?1.90 for your pint of Guinness and leave you alone to drink what you’d paid for,” says Dinnercake.

“However, with reluctance, we soon came to realise that the mounting costs of things like lighting, seating, air conditioning, tv, electricity and heating necessitated us being more realistic with our pricing policies. We only want to provide for our customers, but we don’t want to be out of pocket doing our charitable service. From now on, our customers will pay ?2 to earn their pint, but each time they ‘access’ it, we spoon a little bit of that drink out of their glass to cover our own costs.”

Says Dinnercake, “We will be open to running promotions which will see us using smaller spoons in the future, so we hope that our customers realise we’re not only being reasonable but actually rather generous with our new scheme.”

Team America: World Police. From the guys behind South Park, and ‘in homage’* to puppet based shows such as Thunderbirds.

It was crude. It was rude. Sick, with gratuitous violence. Childish humour, with a stupid amount of knob gags.

Can you guess what happened? I loved it. Pretty much the whole time, I was pissing myself. If you haven’t seen the movie and plan too, don’t click [more], because I’m planning on listing the bits I liked most.
More »