I didn't quite catch that...

Apparently, there was a possibilty of the rest of U2 kicking Bono out.

Why didn’t they?

I’m still alive. I’m still off work. And I’m now waiting to see if those who were scheduled to leave this fair isle for the darkness of London are actually leaving this fair isle for the darkness of London. ‘Boo’ and indeed ‘Hiss’ to easyJet for the confusion on this issue.

But hey, I had a couple of drunken nights. How about yourselves?

Well, that was a pleasant surprise for a dull Monday evening, wasn’t it? I was well impressed, although I’d really like to know which questions I got right and which I got wrong. Just so I can do better next time and get a couple of 100 per cents.

Not that I’d do anything like that. Honest.

Hat tip to Matt

Discover Your Sins – Click Here

How depressingly middle-of-the-road. I really wanted something more extreme. Oh well, I gotta take what I gots. Hat tip to Nelly, for she seems to get more interesting quizes than I.

I know, I’ve not got a single original idea for Christmas messages. So sue me.

The bureaucracy involved in running a blog shocks me. It really does.

You scored as The Pretty-Boi Dyke. You can be a bit cocky at times and ever the heartbreaker, but no one knows that you’re really just looking for true love. The Pretty-Boi Dyke 70% The Stud 55% The Magic Earring Ken Dyke 50% The Bohemian Dyke 35% The Femme Fatale 30% The Student Dyke 30% The Little-Boy Dyke 25% The Surprise! Dyke 25% The Granola Dyke 15% The Hipster Dyke 10% The Sprightly Elfin Femme 10% The Quasi-Gothic Femme 10% The Vaginal-Reference-Making Dyke 5%

What Type of Lesbian Are You? (Inspired by Curve Mag.)
created with QuizFarm.com

Via el Captain. Somehow, I don’t really think this quiz captured my true character. But then again, I could be wrong.

So, it would appear that it wasn’t Ken Livingstone’s lobbying, or the strength of the presentation, or the carbon-neutral bullshit, or the regenerative credentials of the bid that won London the 2012 headache. No, it was a confused Greek.

A senior Olympic figure has told the BBC that London only won the 2012 Olympics because of a misplaced vote.

Alex Gilady claims the mistake happened when a vote was cast for Paris instead of the intended recipient, Madrid.

Had the vote gone to Madrid, claims Gilady, they would have finished level with Paris on 32 votes apiece in the penultimate round, behind London.

Gilady suggests Madrid would have won a head-to-head vote with Paris and gone on to beat London in the final round.

Is that not absolutely brilliant? This ‘spectacular’, for which all those lucky Londoners will be taxed and inconvenienced for years to come, was only given to them by mistake. I’m sure that will be of great comfort to them as their businesses are seized, their council taxes raised, their roads clogged with construction traffic, and Ken tries to get into office again so he can preside over the whole mess.

Of course, it might work. After all, not ever major public construction project in the UK has been late and over budget. This might just be one of the 2% that is ready on time. Hopefully.

No, really, I’m getting all weepy. Because of this absolute horseshit.

Do people not notice the erosion of their privacy? Or do they not care? If the first, then I’m weeping for the stupidity of the human race. If the second, then I’m weeping for the indifference.

Basicially, the government are giving themselves the ability to monitor everyone’s movements and associations, automaticially. Now, they’ve always had the power to do this, but the scale of it is what’s changing. Twenty years ago, it would have required a team of dozens to keep an eye on one person, which meant that it wouldn’t be done without good reason. In a few years, it will be done to everyone, everywhere, automaticially.

Think about that. Everything about you will be available at the touch of a button. From your movements, habits, and associations (which ANPR and facial recognition cameras will take care of), through to your spending habits, medical records, international travel, and bank details (which will be linked through the ID card scheme). All available to any government department which can claim a stake in your life. At the touch of a button. From the local constabulary, to the Revenue, to the health service, all will be giving and taking your information.

“But,” say the Believers, “these are but tools to catch lawbreakers, and only the guilty have anything to hide from them.” To which I say: bullshit. Even if you accepted that every law on the books was a just law (which is not the case), could you safely say that every law in the future will be? Do you honestly believe that the quality of the data will be better in these new systems than in the already exisiting government systems (that is to say: atrocious)? Do you explicitly trust every person in the system, this same system that is busy investigating it’s own as part of Operation Ore?

No, these may be tools, but the difference between a ‘tool of law enforcement’ and a ‘tool of oppression’ is the same difference as there is between a ‘terrorist’ and a ‘freedom fighter’.

The only ones who have anything to fear are those who live here.
More »

And worryingly, so do the public. Fairytale of New York is fricking brilliant. I sez it, Carrie sez it, and Chris sez it. But why? Why is this song from the 80s, by an Irish group (best know for a drunk frontman with bad teeth) and little known singer, so popular now? Why will you find everyone (from teenage spides to drunk WW2 vets and everyone in between) singing along to it?

My take on it would be: it’s the perfect Christmas song because it’s about people at Christmas, rather than about Christmas itself. It’s about people doing what they actually do (get drunk and reminisce and/or argue), instead of some idealised christmas card image of what Christmas should be.

Plus, it’s a damn fine tune. Mustn’t forget that.

As pointed out in today’s Day by Day, I think this story is high-lair-ious.

This quote from [Senate Democrat Harry] Reid is unintentionally revealing, as well as hilarious:

“We’ve become like the House of Commons. Whoever has the most votes wins. It hasn’t worked that way in 216 years.”

I’ve always found the Senate Democrats’ attitude puzzling, but now I understand: they think they’re in the House of Lords!

Whoever has the most votes wins. A stunning thought, I’m sure you’ll agree. Can’t see it catching on, though.

Final Score

You picked 8 out of 15

“You are not really that desperate but it doesn’t look like you would pass up a fun time if it came along. Our guess is your either enjoy hooking up or it has been a little while since you last hooked up.”

Take the Desperate quiz

I think that young SWM should do this test post-haste. So that we can finally get a measurement of how low he’ll go. I’m guessing pretty damn low…

According to experts, my adult industry job would be… Stunt Ass Not all adult actors want to have their backsides on camera. This is where you come in and stand in. Your perfect job is a Stunt Ass Take the Adult Industry Job Quiz

Er, OK then. Or not, as the case may be. Hat tip to Acidman, who clearly got much better answers than myself.

Stunt ass? Does it pay well, then?

Some stories pulled at random* from the Beeb.

• Now that’s what I call a tribute.

  A UK-built satellite set to be launched in late December carries a tribute to a young British space engineer who died in the Boxing Day tsunami.

  Tom Fairbairn, who was 25, worked on Giove-A, the test mission for Europe’s satellite-navigation system, Galileo.

  As you may know, I’m a sucker for a well done tribute. And this counts as one of those.

• Police powers will not be abused. And certainly not in a somewhat humourous fashion, no sirree.
  

  Two policewomen have been suspended in the northern Indian city of Meerut for slapping and punching couples who were dating in a public park.
  …
  Anti-police protests erupted after TV pictures showed officers punching and pulling the hair of young women.

  This is somewhat smegged up. In a campaign to stop sexual assaults on women, they were busy carrying out actual assaults on women. Is that the lesser of the two evils, officer?

• I like this Santa.
  

  A self-styled “parking ticket Santa” is spreading Christmas cheer among shoppers in Birmingham by paying their parking fines.

  One motorist, Caroline Howard, 27, returned to her car in the city to find a Christmas card with ?30 inside stuck underneath a penalty charge notice.

  If this Santa feels like paying off car tax and rates for me, I’d appreciate it. Cash, for preference, although cheques would be accepted if accompanied by a valid cheque guarantee card.

I thought it might have been a slow news day, but it’s not. So why with the randomness of the stories? Hell, it’s not even Friday, when the usual odd stories seem to come out…
–
* – Disclaimer: randomness of selection cannot be guaranteed. One size fits all. This disclaimer does not effect your statutory rights.

The feeling in our office is largely:

Still only wednesday …. f**k it!!

Hat tip to Joe, who’s obviously really excited to be in work as well.

Ah, the glorious European Project. Is there nothing that escapes it’s benevolent gaze?

EU slaps import duty on large LCD screens
…
The EU plans to impose a 14 per cent import duty on imports of larger LCD screens, leading pundits to forecast a huge hike in sticker prices.
…
The tariff would be applied to all monitors that are not produced within the EU, which is the majority of monitors imported. LG manufactures some units in Wales, while Philips manufactures most of its units in the Far East.

Ah, import tariffs on specific products. “A wonderful tool of modern diplomacy.” Or so they said in 1912. Quite what they’re being used for in this day and age, I don’t know. But since it’s an EU diktat directive, it’s obviously a good idea.

Right?

I was wrong, OK? There is evidence for global warming.

I don’t think that this particular evidence is going to make me cut down on fossil fuel consumption, though. Quite the opposite, in fact…

Guess what happened at work today?

Well, not just on me, but it seemed to hit pretty hard.

I love work, I really do. It’s never a nice even pace, it’s always either dead slow or fast as feck.

Dear customer,

we are currently experiencing a problem which might cause your website to be temporarily unavailable. We are investigating if this problem lies with us or if it is a general internet connectivity problem.

We will inform you when we have more information.

Sorry for the inconvenience.

Lycos Technical Team

Which is probably why I can’t get into my site from the front door. And thusly why this post is being dropped nastily into the database.

So, I can’t post at the moment. Some 19 people have managed to visit today, however. Damned if I know how… I’ll blame it on the magical pixies. They’re always to blame.

Young Mr Tha’Wulf is doing a little competition. Specificially, it’s the 1st Annual Norn Iron Blahg of t?Yayar, Laike. For some strange reason, I’m on the shortlist, but (as mentioned in the title), I can hazard a guess as to why. I’m there to be the comedy loser. Which is fine, ‘cos I’m in with some fine company. Nelly, Mr Bolan and Mr Stewart are there, and there should probably be several others. Like the Broom, and the Trumpet, and the many others.

Anyway, the cabal Academy should be making their minds up at some point (probably slightly before tha’wulf posted), so that’ll be nice.

UPDATE: People, I keep telling you, the accepted terminology is ‘Right Wing Nut Job’ or ‘good old-fashioned degenerate right-winger’. ‘Right Wing Wanker’ is just plain rude. Just letting you know.

Oh, and it looks like rain has stopped play in the aforementioned comp. Oh well.