I didn't quite catch that...

It seems that the Dutch ID card is so secure that you don’t even need to have your hands on it to steal it. What a boon for the identity theft business.

Now, to be fair, the article does say that it takes about 2 hours to break into the card, and that you need to be within ten metres of it to get anything. But imagine the possibilities. Fancy going on a long train journey? Why not spend the time productively, by stealing the identity of some fellow passengers? Fed up at work? Why not familiarise yourself with the vital details of your co-workers?

(Oh, and don’t forget, children. The UK ID scheme would feature a card with an RFID chip inside it. Just imagine the possibilites.)

Yeah, like you missed me.

A decent weekend of drinking was had, with a very welcome Monday away from work.

And it seems that all I missed in my weekend away from the ‘net was a very dodgy video from The Hoff. ‘Awesome’ indeed.

Blame yer man, I found the link there.

Nice, quiet, dull night at work. And as such, no interesting stories to relate. Or no stories that I can pretend are interesting, at any rate.

However, I did have a lot of coffee, so I’m still! wide! awake! and probably will be for a little while, until the hot whiskey kicks in. Hence my posting.

And do you notice the date? 28^th of January. That would suggest to me that this blog is three years old today. And, in honour of that, I thought I’d post some random shite, for posting could well be somewhat spartan due to drinkage over the next few days.

• Things for readers to do: visit the Broom and listen to the track there. Sheer brilliance. Mentioning several characters who I’d recognise from work, and probably some that Nelly would recognise as well, if you switched the place names a bit.
• Surprisingly, considering the image of doorstaff, work was all a-buzz with talk of Big Brother. My 2 cents: yer non-celeb won because there wasn’t any active dislike for her, whereas everyone dislikes celebrities on general principle. And one of the fellas at work actually liked Galloway, but then he has yet to realise that ‘communist = doubleplusungood’. Give the poor fella time. Beowulf will still be mocked, though. Even if new reasons need to be found.
• If ever I disappear, I want the searchers to be sure and check attics in Cully.
• This story has me totally fascinated. What the hell is going on there?

There you go, that should do. Enjoy.

This blog is 3 today.

How exciting.

And now, some facts you didn’t know about IDQCT…

Apparently, I’ve been tagged by Ryan. Which means that I really should do the meme. But it’s a variation of a meme I did a few months ago, so I think I’ll do the lazy efficient thing, and merge the answers from last time into it.

So: the 7 things meme. Redux. With the original answers deleted if they’re no longer relevant.

7 Things I Want To Do Before I Die

1. Learn a foreign language, properly.
2. Make something that I can look at and go “I don’t think I could ever improve on that”.
3. Become a father. Not for some time yet, mind.
4. Teach something important to someone important. Who or what is to be decided.
5. Be the Go To Guy for some major black helicopter organisation.
6. To look around at what I have, and say “This is Enough”.
7. Fly (solo) a Hurricane from Alaska to Africa.
   Proper circuit racing.

7 Things That I Cannot Do

1. Accept things that I cannot change.
2. Let It All Out.
3. Understand people who don’t care about ID cards.
4. Understand why people who are otherwise intelligent can believe politicians.
5. Get my head round a lot of things.
6. Understand why people aren’t interested in the world around them.
7. See the point of Oasis. Why were they popular?

7 Things That Attract Me To The Opposite Sex

1. A smile.
2. A sense of humour.
3. Freckles. In moderation, I’m not looking for the female equivalent of me.
4. Sarcasm. In moderation, I’m not looking for the female equivalent of me.
5. The realisation that me liking to be on my own sometimes isn’t a sign that I’m pissed off.
6. Nice eyes.
7. Who am I kidding? T&A. Even if you just call it curves. That’s nothing but a cop-out, and you know it. Non-dwarfage is also good.

7 Things That I Say Most Often

1. Fuck no.
2. 
   Sign the No2ID pledge!
3. And sure did you see…
4. Aye, but…
5. Which part of “You’re not comming in” was it that you didn’t understand?
6. FUUUCCCKKK OOOOOFFFFF!
7. Now you’re getting mad at me for things that you said I said but I never, actually, said. (This one’s a recent addition)
   So, you’re now annoyed because I did nothing wrong and didn’t tell you that I did the aforementioned nothing wrong. Which I was under no obligation to tell you because we’re not going out anymore. Just because you want to share all the details of your life with everyone doesn’t mean I do. (This one’s a recent addition)

Seven Books That I Love

1. All 30+ Pratchett works
2. All the Clancys before Red Rabbit
3. Larry Bond- Cauldron
4. Ian Fleming- Moonraker
5. Harry Turtledove- Ruled Brittania
6. Yes Minister: The Scripts
7. The book by the fella who started Viz (and the name of whom I can’t remember)

Seven Movies That I?ve Loved (in no order)

1. The Lord of the Rings
2. The Great Escape
3. Old School
4. Happy Gilmore
5. It’s a Wonderful Life
6. We Were Soldiers
7. Mad Max I & II (we do not speak of III)

So, there you have it. Not being one for the whole ‘tagging’ thing, I’ll perform what should be called a ‘Nelly’:

I ain?t tagging anyone. But feel free to tag yourself if you feel like it.

I’m really not very good at these West Wing predictions, am I?

‘Course, that’s a good thing. Means that I get a lot more entertainment from it.

Via Acidman:

Just for the record, this Ed floats.

I have a shameful confession to make. I have been enjoying all the George Galloway battering that has been going on during the last few weeks, but I haven’t been watching Big Brother. I’ve flicked over to it a couple of times, but found it to be either very dull or interesting but cringeworthy. And I’m not a fan of cringeworthy TV, hence my lack of love for Little Britain and The Office.

Oh, and one time I turned over to see a fat old scottish bastid playing with his balls while wearing a tight red catsuit. Which doesn’t make me want to watch the program, to be honest.

Anyway. Mr Galloway is out, which is probably good news for the rest of the poor souls in the house. But it means that he’ll be out and about, defending himself in the only way he knows how: calling Blair a warmongering bastard and attacking anyone who dares to criticise him. Or letting his byatches do it for him, in the case of the implict threats mentioned on this morning’s Chris Moyles Show.

His defence?

“I don’t believe that talking to parliamentarians, the current crop of parliamentarians, is very important.

“Our task is to take politics to the people. That’s what I do for a living, and that’s what I will continue to do.”

So, you don’t think that doing the job you were elected to do (represent the people of Bethnal Green and Bow in the House of Commons) is ‘very important’? Then why, pray, were you so keen on getting that job? Why were you so enamored of the job that you slated your opponent on the basis of her race? Could it be that the people of Bethnal Green and Bow were nothing but a stepping stone to your real objective: getting your face in more papers?

George, your task is not to bring politics to the people. Your job is to use politics on behalf of the people. The most important thing in that sentence: on behalf of the people. Not on your own behalf, not on behalf of what you claim is a valid political party, but on behalf of the people in the constituency which sent you to parliament as their representative.

You’re a public servant, George. Best get serving, don’t you think?

Better coverage is to be had here and here.

If this was real, it’d make QVC a shedload more interesting.

Cinema goers in the UK are to be shown a shocking spoof shopping channel ad offering AK-47 machine guns for sale.
…
In the spoof ad, presenters praise the gun’s firepower and a boy fires it.

I don’t think that my response is the one Amnesty was hoping for, though…

It’s heartless, but it’s asking the questions we all need answered.

Oh, and for the record, it wasn’t taxpayers money that was wasted. It was charidee wot did most of the work. Which is why they’re selling the watering can they used. To cover their costs.

So, the spying row. A few questions occur to me:

1. Is this true, or is it a fake?
2. Why is it being released?
3. Who benefits?

For the first question, I don’t know, and odds are that I’ll never know. It’s not the sort of thing that will ever see the light of day, either on the Russian side or the British side (if there is a British side). I assume, however, that the UK. and the US, and the French, etc, etc. are all spying on Russia, much as Russia is spying on others. Some would say that it’s a bit cheeky, spying on allied nations. I would say that it’s the best way to ensure that they stay allied.

For the second, I really don’t know. If Tom Clancy taught me anything, it’s that it’s better to keep these things quiet. Leaves the finder the option of running a false flag operation, or of uncovering other operations using this one as a starting point. It also leaves the possibility of blackmail. And the possibility of trades when something goes wrong in the other direction. All good reasons to keep things hidden.

And for the third, who benefits from releasing this now? Obviously, it damages the UK (a little), but it would be more damaging to any NGO which is receiving money from the UK. And these NGOs are the ones that tend to disagree with the rampant power grabs going on by the Kremlin. So, even if this is completely made up, the Kremlin can (and, most likely, will) use this to batter those organisations which are opposed to young Mr Putin. Which is a bit of a shame, because young Mr Putin is starting to worry me, with his sneaky habit of a) being a KGB fellow and b) cutting off gas to people who don’t do exactly as he says.

The BBC have a little article having a bit of a closer look at the West Wing. They look at the original plan, the events leading up to Aaron Sorkin leaving, Rob Lowe leaving, the impact of the thing. All that stuff.

From the article:

“It didn’t insult you and it was supremely clever at it,” said freelance TV critic William Gallagher.

“You might not know the finer points of US law but you got it and – much more – you got why it was so important to these characters.”

The series had “verve”, Mr Gallagher added. “It could build huge tension over people just waiting to go into a meeting.”

All very good. I may have mentioned how the rapid-fire dialogue was the best on TV, especially in the first two seasons, with a resurgence in the more recent ones (when they moved the focus away from Bartlett- as was originally planned). The political theory was also pretty gripping, as were the characters.

The article suggests two shows that will take up the slack:

“Politics is getting very serious debate in the most unexpected dramas like Battlestar Galactica and we do have the more straightforward Commander-in-Chief.”

Now, I have absolutely no interest in Commander-in-Chief, for one simple reason: it would not be the West Wing. It can’t be as good (if it is, someone let me know and I’ll give it a whirl).

But Galactica, on the other hand, has been something of a revelation. It mixes the traditional elements of a good show (EXPLOSIONS! GUNPLAY! FIT WIMMEN! SPACE!) with some seriously good quotage, and some serious thinking about real life political issues. Needs of the many v. needs of the few. The role of government. The role of the military. Witch-hunts. The ease with which people can be misled. Family. Loyalty. Prisoners rights.

All of these have been looked at in the first season. And I, for one, have been thinking after watching it. Which I always like doing after a TV show.

‘Course, you’d get exactly none of that from the ads with which Sky are promoting it. Good ads, to be sure, but they’re misrepresenting the show a little. Oh well. As long as they keep the viewing figures up, then Sky should keep showing it.

The basserds at NBC have gone and pulled the West Wing.

Looking at the dates involved, they’ll let it get to the end of the season. Which is a small mercy, the likes of which Fox wouldn’t bother with. But still, it’s an intelligent, well-written, fast paced drama, with lots of eye candy. It’s bloody perfect as shows go. And they’re getting rid of it.

Current mood: Most decidedly unimpressed.

At least it looks like there will be a natural cutoff. Season 7 should just about fit in the election, maybe lasting up until the end of the administration. Which is another small mercy.

Jean Reno. Best known, in this country at least, for playing hard ass characters. Killing people with nothing more than a Gallic shrug. The honourable killer in L?on and Ronin. Or a powerful businessman in Hotel Rwanda.

And then you find out that he’s busy fecking about with perfume.

Jean Reno’s passion for artistic creation and his love for women inspired him to create his own perfume Jean Reno Loves You, in honor of women.

See, revelations like this will just spoil things any time he tries to act like a hard bastard in future. Oh well.

Hat tip to Needs To Be Glassed, who add the excellent comment:

You know, it’s good that hte police have enough spare time that they can interfere with free speech, worry about coats, and steal that which belongs to others. Obviously all the real crime* has been solved, and therefore they have all this time on their hands to waste on trivia and removing people’s rights.

An exasperated Mr Jarnet publicly admitted he might “do a Martin” after raiders stole hundreds of yards of irrigation piping from his 25-acre Twyford Fruit Farm in London Road, effectively putting him out of business.

Moments after he made his remarks police arrived to seize his shotgun, for which he has a licence.

And, in the process, they sent two messages. One, to the general population: even talking about defending yourself and your property will be punished by the state.

And the other was to the local criminal fraternity: Mr Jarnet is undefended and available for victimhood at your convenience.

Obviously, both these messages come under the headings of “greater good” and “liable to piss me off”.

–
* – yes, I know, all the hot air about “Shouldn’t you be off solving real crime” is nothing but hot air. But having police investigate a fur coat and a non-threatening comment by someone on the radio is taking the piss.

Away to fuck with you, sir.

Who would have thought that a government figure would go and try to make a case for making these voluntary ID cards compulsory? I sure as hell didn’t see that on comming. No sirree.

So, what would a whale make of central London?

It’s probably a worrying sign of my mental health (and my fondness for all things HHGG) that I immediately thought of the poor sperm whale…

The Book: It is important to note that suddenly, and against all probabiliy, a pilot whale had been called into existance, yards from the House of Commons. Since this isn’t a naturally tenable position for a whale, this innocent creatre had very little time to come to terms with its identitity. This is what it thought, as it swam;

The Whale: Ahhh! Woooh! What’s happening? Who am I? Why am I here? What’s my purpose in life? What do I mean by who am I? Okay okay calm down calm down get a grip now. Ooh, this is an interesting sensation. What is it? Its a sort of tingling in my… well I suppose I better start finding names for things. Lets call it a… tail! Yeah! Tail! And hey, whats this roaring sound, wooshing past what I’m suddenly gonna call my head? A city! Is that a good name? It’ll do. Yeah, this is really exciting. I’m dizzy with anticipation! Or is it the smell of the city? There’s an awful lot of that now isn’t it? And whats this thing coming toward me very slow? So big and fat and round, it needs a big wide sounding name like ‘cot’, ‘scot’, ‘Prescott ‘, ‘John Prescott ‘! Thats it! John Prescott! Ha! I wonder if it’ll be friends with me? Hello John Prescott!

Tomorrow’s news: “John Prescott eats a pilot whate whole!”

Well, this is worrying.

The US Department of Justice has taken Google to court, demanding it hand over all searches made in a one week period. It’s a fishing expedition, unconnected with any ongoing criminal prosecution.

So, the US government (executive branch) is asking the US government (judicial branch) to revive a proposal from the US government (legislative branch) by getting search records. Which can be tied to a specific person. For the entire world.

Apparently, Google are fighting this. Which is good.

Less good is the way that Google (and other search giants) are diversifying into other areas, and in doing so will learn ever so much more about the people who use their services. And if (when?) the feds get their hands on these records, they’ll know a hell of a lot about people that they really have no business knowing.

Which is a little bit concerning, to be honest.

I thought knew the UK presidency of the EU was bad, but it’s opnly going to get worse with the Austrians in charge. Or so it looks to me, anyway.

Austrian Chancellor Wolfgang Schuessel has called for a form of European Union tax to help end regular disagreements over the Union’s budget.
…
He said it was no longer possible for member states to provide all EU funds.

You know, there are two ways to ensure that sufficient money is available. Either, as Herr Schuessel suggests, increase the income. Or, as I would suggest, decrease the outgoings. As it is, only the regular fight over national contributions stands in the way of unlimited expansion of the EU budget. Give the EU an income completely under it’s own control and the organisation will move beyond anyone’s control.

For the benefit of the class, I should probably point out that that is a bad thing. National governments can be voted out if they fuck about; so they still have a nominal measure of control over them (even if it is time delayed). The EU does not have an elected government to get rid of, it has an appointed executive which is pretty much only answerable to itself.

Herr Schuessel also suggests thinks that the good people of France and the Netherlands were daft. Normally, I’d say he was right (in the first case, anyway), but this time he’s all wrong.

Mr Schuessel also repeated that the Austrian presidency wanted to re-open the debate on the European constitution, which was rejected by French and Dutch voters last year.

This wasn’t just a text, he said, but a question of European identity.

I have a question of European identity for you:

Q: Is there a ‘European identity’?
A: No. There are a multitude of differing identities, drawing upon everything from locality, country, religion, political beliefs, language, sporting preference, sexual preference, hair colour and the result of the 2.15 at Ascot.

The peoples of Europe are too diverse in everything from alphabet to gastric tendencies to be united with some form of common identity. If, at some point, a single uniting identity appears, it can only come from the bottom up, it cannot be enforced from the top down.

The French rejected this ‘European identity’, for their own reasons.
The Dutch rejected this ‘European identity’, for their own reasons.
The British would have rejected this ‘European identity’, for their own reasons.

Three different ‘peoples’. Three differing sets of reasons. The peoples of Europe are so dissimilar that they can’t even agree on the reasons that they are dissimilar. Take that and shove it up your European identity.

I see four possibilities behind the whole Fathers 4 Justice story.

1. It was a serious plot by fringe elements of the organisation, who were hell bent on a) punishing the government for their perceived anti-father stance and b) raising publicity for their cause. I find this somewhat doubtful, to tell you the truth.
2. It was an organised publicity stunt that spiralled out of control. Again, I think that this isn’t all that likely.
3. It was a bunch of people talking shite in a pub and someone taking it the wrong way. This, I think, is the most likely. Hell, if people took everything I said in a pub seriously, I’d be in jail for a very long time. Or Life Emperor Of The Known Universe. One or the other.
4. It was a spectacularly successful dirty tricks stunt against the group by the government. Which I wouldn’t discount, either, as the group does seem to have a knack for embarrassing said government. And we all know that the government isn’t above using the tabloids to stab their opponents in the back.

Personally, I don’t think that there was any plot to kidnap the kid. There may have been comments made about doing so, but I don’t think they were serious. And F4J did manage to demystify and poke fun at some of the ‘security’ measures in place in the country. Which can only be a good thing.

Oh, and making His Toniness look like a prat is always good to see. And F4J did it with style.