I didn't quite catch that...

So, Studio 60 is now over; Sorkin got his full 22 episodes out of the network (which I assume is down to fancy legal footwork on his part), he tied up his loose ends, he put some hamfisted points in at the end, he created characters that you could care about – love ‘em or hate ‘em. And it wasn’t enough.

Maybe it was the comedown from West Wing; people could believe (or would like to believe) that those in charge of nations are stupidly smart, and can all think four moves ahead of everyone else. But we don’t exactly think that of television networks and writers. So all the wordplay which seemed so suited to the corridors of power felt out of place in a theatre in LA.

Or maybe it was that too much was expected of Sorkin; there was nobody who could tell him that he was going down the wrong track, because he was able to practically write his own contract because everybody wanted this show.

Or, more likely, it’s a different hangover from West Wing: the bar was set far too high, and no matter what came after it, it just wasn’t going to work anything like as well. We expected too much.

Anyway. I’ve enjoyed the show; I’ve cared about the characters. But at least there was a definite end; the show finished properly.

Oh, and if the show was supposed to make the jackasses in media any more human, or their behaviour more acceptable, it didn’t really work. Most of them, at some point or another, really did come across as more selfish and egotistical than would be healthy…

This weekend, Belfast is to be disrupted by the Belfast Maritime Festival, where the city will play host to some very purdy sailing vessels, along with a rotting old hulk that the council spent millions on and a Dutch barge.

Oh, and the Fleet Flagship of the Royal Navy, which will be saying hello.

The crew of the HMS Albion will take part in the Belfast Maritime Festival being held at Clarendon Dock over the weekend.

The 176 metre Royal Navy assault ship will visit the city for the first time since she was commissioned in 2004.

But wait! There’s more!

There will also be a chance to see a Merlin helicopter, one of the fastest and capable anti-submarine aircraft.

Ah, the Merlin. A typical UK procurement project, in that it started off with a clear vision, and ended up massively over budget, many years late and not quite the same as was asked for.

In its defence, though, it does look mighty fine. And I’m sure it would be classed as a fine helicopter as well, if it didn’t go dropping bits onto innocent bystanders¹.

So, people of Belfast, enjoy the spectacle. But it might be wise to keep an eye on the sky, just in case anyone tries to drop some highly expensive kit² on your head. Say what you like about the years of Lynx, Puma and Gazelle activity round these here parts, at least when they fell out of the sky they tended to do it in their entirety. And away from people.

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¹ – Actually, the odds of finding an innocent bystander in Salthill are mighty low…

² – Actually, I think you’d probably get a decent price for it on Ebay, if you played your cards right…

I am fully aware that this here blog is definitely in the bottom half of the list when it comes to quality of writing, or consistency of writing, or originality of writing. Clearly my skills lie in other areas¹.

Which is why I’m generally quite cheered to find someone diving into my mind, taking some of my poorly-expressed opinions and ideas, and making them into proper written points.

Like this piece at the BBC, about the blatant wrongness that is the smoking ban. Which I’ve railed against on more than one occasion, but this guy does it better.

Because, believe me, what we’re going to lose with the introduction of this social apartheid is more than just the wafts of smoke from people’s cigarettes and pipes – much more.
…
And when it comes down to the anti-smoking lobby, I just don’t trust them. I understand the government has a duty to warn people about the dangers, but as for those sanctimonious busybodies who have made it their self-appointed duty to stop others enjoying themselves…

… they should be taken outside and exposed to the evils of all the things they seek to prevent us from doing. Smoking, drinking to excess, crossing the road without a risk-assessment, cycling without a high-visibility loincloth, purchasing a kitchen knife without a background check, building a garden shed without planning permission, driving 25 yards without a seatbelt, using a phone and walking at the same time, handling Jeyes Fluid without a haz-mat suit …

You know, the things that most of us do. Let them live a life normally for a while, then have someone else try and take that away from them. See how they like it…

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¹ – If anyone finds my skill set, please to let me know.

Space travel, at the moment, is rather limited. The number of people who spend time in orbit in any given year is measured in dozens, and low dozens. Only very wealthy government programmes can get anyone into space, and even when they do, it’s only to low Earth orbit.

If space travel is to become anything more than this, several things need to happen. First off, the cost needs to be reduced, drastically. Secondly, private citizens need to get up there, on non-government systems, to open the whole thing to normal folk. Thirdly, there needs to be a purpose in getting there, for most folk; spending an hour in a glorified mobile home probably isn’t enough incentive to convince most folk that the training and physical battering is worth it.

Then there’s all the work needing done on the system. A shuttle that requires a six month turn-around, a two day countdown and a support crew of hundreds isn’t practical for the annual launches we have at the minute, let alone for any commercial programme. And it’s not exactly comfortable either. Oh, and if anything goes wrong, there is no such thing as ‘Plan B’.

Which is where these guys come in. With their plans for designing a sort of bail out system for space travellers, initially from a mere 22 miles up, but aiming for 60 and then a proper orbital 150 miles.

How delightfully science fiction. el Reg‘s writers even comment on the books that it puts them in mind of. Of course, in science fiction, you can happily discount things like 240° temperatures and 4.4g’s of deceleration. I don’t think it’s as easy in the real world.

In fact, I totally agree with the rather simple summation offered by someone at the JPL:

he doesn’t see “anything fundamentally wrong with what they’re doing … It’s just scary as hell.”

Amen. I wouldn’t want to be the test pilot, that’s for sure…

I’ve been saying this was coming for ages. From The Economist:

Warnings about the dangers of drinking are likewise becoming more shrill. On June 5th the Department of Health published a “national alcohol strategy”, which sets out to make drunkenness as socially unacceptable as smoking has become in most circles. At the end of May it told booze producers to put health warnings on bottles and cans, and threatened legislation if they did not comply. A few days earlier it toughened its advice to pregnant women, though no medical research dictated a change. The message had been that a couple of small drinks a week were all right; now women are told to avoid alcohol entirely from the day they start trying to conceive until their babies are born.

Never mind the facts, never mind the tradition, never mind the general harmlessness. Yes, ignore all that, and roll out a national alcohol strategy to change the behaviour of the populace with the aim of making them nicer and better behaved citizens.

With the maximum respect that I can muster for that proposal, FUCK OFF.

Alcohol was with us from the dawn of time, and has been with us through some of the best and worst times in our lives. It has saved countless lives through the millennia.

But it is not something that nanny likes, you see. The lives saved, they’ll say, were down to nothing but lack of water purification, and sure that’s corrected now. We don’t need alcohol. Alcohol makes us unpredictable; alcohol makes us a little less inclined to pit up with some of the horseshit that passes for policy these days. And what possible reason would a citizenry have to want to be unpredictable? Or intolerant of top-down-leadership?

So the demon drink will be something to be looked down on; something that no reasonable person would think of using. Then there will be more limits on where it can be drunk, and then who knows what else.

Fuck. That. Shit.

Screw the nanny, bring forth the beverages. Let there be bottles of beer, vats of vino, rations of rum and all the other goodness that the drink can provide. Meanwhile, there’s an almost empty glass about that needs something poured into it…

Good news, that is, if you work in the Treasury. For you no longer have that “Stalinist” style manager at the head of your department.

Their gain, however, is clearly our loss.

Yes, we now have Gordon as Prime Minister, despite not a single vote in favour of this promotion being cast.

Posing outside No 10 with wife Sarah, the man who has been Mr Blair’s chancellor for the past 10 years, said: “Let the work of change begin.”

He said his priorities were education, health and restoring trust in politics. He promised he would “try my utmost”.

I have much fear for the future, I don’t mind telling you.

But every cloud has a silver lining, and could be no exception. Brown will be keen, over the coming weeks, to show signs of a break with the Blair years, and there is nothing that show that better than cancelling the bloody ID card and all its databasey badness. There is opportunity, and there are plenty of reasons, adn there is absolutely no downside.

Go on, Gordon. You know we’re not going to like or trust you, but don’t let that stop you from doing the right thing on this…

The authors of a recent study think that MySpace is for the lower orders of society, while Facebook is for the better off.

Clearly, they are wrong. And not just because they’re busy with the traditional activity so beloved of researchers: putting class boundaries onto data given the slightest excuse.

No, they’re wrong because they’re drawing a conclusion based on data that is far too fluid, and on two sites that are very different.

From the BBC article:

The research suggests those using Facebook come from wealthier homes and are more likely to attend college.

By contrast, MySpace users tend to get a job after finishing high school rather than continue their education.

Shock and horror. The college kids choose to use a network that was initially designed specifically for college kids over the general one. Hell, the rest of the world couldn’t use Facebook a year ago. From that base, is it surprising that more college kids use it than use MySpace?

Then you get to the security aspects: Facebook profiles can only be viewed by

1. people you specifically let view it; or
2. people in the same network, geographically, or by employer or educational establishment

Whereas MySpace defaults to being largely open to all, which isn’t ideal for most people.

So of course Facebook is ahead with the school kids; because it’s newer, it’s designed for them, and its data gives the impression of being more secure.

This is not a sign of a class divide, it’s a sign that people’s tastes are changing and that products are emerging to meet the new tastes. It’s just that the kids are picking up on the change slightly faster. As the next class will with the next development, and so on and so forth.

Oh, and MySpace is fugly as hell. Too cluttered and too laden with sound and video by default. At least with Facebook you choose to be bothered by such things…

Alliance leader David Ford is a little miffed that the Executive is sending seven ministers to a little get-together in Washington DC. His objection is that it’s not really in the best interest of the local budget for so many to be going.

And I can see his point. I mean, that’s seven round trips; fourteen flights. Not the most efficient use of money, not getting a massive return, and not spending said money in the best interests of Norn Iron folk.

Just think, if they’d spent that money on fourteen one way tickets, then a nice swathe would have been cut through the numbers at the trough. In which case we’d all win.

Except the poor Americans, of course, but I’m sure they could handle the situation themselves…

And just in case you think I’m joking, can anyone remember any serious trouble at St Patrick’s Day parades? Not recently. And not since all the local politicians started spending the day on the eastern seaboard of the US. Coincidence?

Some researchers have noticed that which we all kinda knew: nigh on everybody breaks the law.

Said researchers would seem to be less than impressed with the situation; they claim that it’s a sign of widespread ‘anti-civic behaviour’, which sounds like the non-physical side of anti-social behaviour. And they say that that’s a bad thing.

Horseshit.

I’d say that’s it actually down to having too many damn rules in the first place. With the body of legislation that we all have to live under, it’s a wonder that getting out of bed isn’t illegal, let alone half the things that can be done once you get out.

This study doesn’t show anything like society breaking down because people aren’t keen on obeying the rules; if anything it shows that society is just about keeping going despite those rules. And the really sad thing is that, armed with studies like this, government (any government, from any party) will inevitably respond with more rules, more red tape and stricter enforcement of existing rules. Resulting in more people having to break the rules just to get by.

Or, and this would only be my suggestion of course, they could loosen their grip, and see what happens when the pressure is relieved. I think we’d all be surprised by the response.

Now, saw you’re a judge. You’re an important man; you have to look the part. So you’ll have a few quite expensive suits to wear when it’s required to look impressive.

So far, so good.

Now, say you go and get these fancy threads dry-cleaned. And somewhere along the line a mistake is made; a pair of trousers goes missing. What would you do?

I would have answered along these lines:

Well, I’m a judge, and therefore it should be safe to assume I have some living grey matter between my ears. So I’ll go to the dry cleaning place, have a chat with them and reach an equitable settlement, one where I either get my trousers back, or sufficient cash to replace them.

This is clearly not the right answer. The right answer is to take them to court. And ask for $54,000,000.

Thankfully, you then fail in your case. But you’re still drawing a salary from the same legal system that you tried so hard to screw.

Which is a tad worrysome, methinks.

200 miles in, and I’m starting to get a feel for the character of the new vehicle. Fer’instance, I’ve discovered that it seems to like being driven down B-roads while Hyperspeed is on the stereo; also that the car’s own soundtrack is best enjoyed just as the 40 sign passes by and the NSL starts to apply.

I’m still suck for names; possibilities at the moment are Lucy, Harriet, Heather, Emily or Kaylee. At the minute, Kaylee and Heather are in the lead: both cute as hell, both able to handle themselves, and both very good at fixing things.

They way CyberScribe is talking, fixing things will be very important to this particular car.

Charles may now commence with the jokes about French cars, and I wouldn’t be surprised if Marc had something to say about the choice of musical accompaniment. But thems is the breaks, I suppose.

Once again, the Guardian look at some events, and decide that it’s not the people who pull the trigger who are to blame, it’s the nasty American who tried to stop them.

It’s not the terrorist who planted the bomb that is to blame for blowing up a heli-pad, it’s the man who saved the people targeted by that bomb that should carry the can.

It’s not the madman who crashed the plane who should be brought to court over it, instead you should target the one guy trying to stop him.

Had a subway station hit by a near miss? Don’t go directing your anger at the bombmaker, instead aim it at the cop who ensured that it was a near miss, not a direct hit.

Luckily enough, this is apparently in jest. But you’d be hard pushed to tell the difference between it and a normal Grauniad piece…

Labour must have soul, says Brown

From today, Gordon Brown is officially in charge of the Labour party, a post nobody bothered to vote him into.

On Wednesday, he assumes, in a similar fashion, the role of First Lord of the Treasury.

On that scale, by Friday he’ll either rule the world or the entire universe will collapse in on itself in disgust.

Last evening, there was a bit of a family do. Someone turned 80, and thusly a lot of people turned up and congratulated him on surviving so long and hoping to get together again for the 90^th. Which is the norm for such things, or so I’m led to believe.

What I wasn’t expecting was the Tales of Woe from persons of a similar age, and the ways they used to escape from them. Like bank employees ringing up managers and asking them, politely, to ‘sort’ speeding tickets. Sort them right into the circular filing cabinet.

Like the almost young ladies who got stopped for speeding and got away with it by shocking the officers into silence with a little banter along the lines of “No, young man, I wasn’t speeding. But now you’ve stopped me I’ll be late unless I do. And more of youse bastards setting traps further up the road?”

Or the tale of a former policeman whose name would be familiar to most on this isle, and how he could fix anything for anyone out of the goodness of his heart.

Or the North South Co-operation that we don’t really need, regarding out-of-jurisdiction traffic penalties.

Tell you what, I was expecting the event to be a little dull. Instead, I spent half of it taking notes …

You know, I thought that, in the four years since I last checked, the content of this blog would have changed at lease a little bit.

But no.

Mingle² – Originator’s Site

Seriously, what the fuck do I have to do to get a proper rating? NC-17 is little more than 12A when you look at it, and that is just a poor effort…

Viewers of Aaron Sorkin shows may be aware that, once his show is cancelled, he likes to put a few barbs in the last episode or two. From Sports Night, there was a little comment “If you can’t make money with Sports Night, you should get out of the money making business”. It was funny, to the point and a bit good natured.

He doesn’t seem to be going down that path with Studio 60. He’s not bothering to make a point with one well placed quote; he’s not sticking to the topic at hand. Instead, he seems to be putting all of his issues from the last few years into it; his issues with networks, with the political climate in the US, with the military, with religion all get aired. And not in a funny way; not in a way that is good watching.

Instead, it’s looking more and more bitter as it goes along. And, personally, I think it’s ruining the feel of the entire series.

The knife has already been put in the show; the damage is done and it’s already dead. But young Aaron seems to be twisting the blade just to see how much pain he can inflict in the last moments of its life.

From a BBC article on The Psychopaths in Suits.

Is your boss a psychopath? Here are just some of the tell tale signs

They are manipulative

Hmm, I don’t think that’s me. Hopefully.

They lack specific goals

Oh yes, that quite clearly is me. Goals and detailed plans are not things I’m good at.

They have superficial relations with people

With some people, yes.

They are impulsive

Absolutely not. Now, excuse me, I’ll just go out and gaze at my lovely new car while looking at the stack of books I bought on a whim…

They are irresponsible

Clearly this one does apply to me. But not in a bad way.

They crave power and prestige

Hell no, I just want money…

They lack empathy

The feelings of other are of no concern to me, they are all there just to be crushed underfoot.

They lack remorse

I’m really sorry about my previous answer.

They lie easily

Easily, yes. Well, no.

They have predatory instincts

Hey, instincts are ok. It’s only acting on them that gets you into trouble.

They are cool under pressure

Anyone out there who thinks that this applies to me? No? What a surprise.

They seek excitement and thrills

And then wonder why their insurance premiums are so high…

They take credit for the work of others

Only if it’s cool work. Claiming credit for dull and tedious work does nothing for me.

They fly into rages

I’LL KILL YOU FOR SAYING THAT

On the balance of things, I don’t think I’m too psychopathic. Which is one fo teh may possible illnesses ticked off the list.

Post Secret has pretty much gotten the market of interesting postcards covered, but there’s another small item of stationary that I think would be just as profound.

The humble Post It.

They’re quite similar to postcards, in that the interesting ones are outnumbered a million to one by the dross. On the other hand, some of the messages that have been communicated by the medium of the small yellow adhesive note are of far greater importance than the Post Secret cards.

For example, over the last few days I’ve found Post Its with news of deaths and of lives saved; of people finding out their cancer is gone or that their time is up; of hirings and firings.

All human life is here, in 3×5 paper segments; not meant for posterity but of immense value to it. Which appeals to me.

I’m sure that I’ve been hit with something like this before, but I can’t be arsed digging through the archives to find out…

And anyway, it’s only a sort of half tag anyway, from the Mad Irish Bloggers (Thai Educational Chapter).

So, 8 random factoids that you may not know about me. I’ll preface them by stating that there’s very little that I keep back from this blog, so I’ll be hard pushed to find a single interesting fact, let alone 8.

1. My maternal grandmother had 8 grandchildren.
2. My other one has 13.
3. I used to be quite interested in recycling and being good to the environment, until it became compulsory to be that way. Now I’m all for the pillaging of the planet.
4. Try as I might, I really can’t get at all worked up about the alleged evils of private equity buyouts.
5. I’m a great believer in re-reading books. You’d never just listen to a good album once, nor would you feel bad re-watching a decent movie. So why do so many people not re-read?
6. I once watched some of Grey’s Anatomy. God, it was awful.
7. Out of everyone in Hollywood, I can’t think of anyone cooler than Bruce Willis.
8. I have an overpowering urge to try some of these lines during my next door shift.

There you go, there’s a well scraped barrel for you to look at…

Did I mention that the new series of NCIS arrived t’other day? It’s a good show, with the right blend of action, bad science, silly puns and hawt wimmen. Oh, and it’s overloaded with trivia.

All good then.

One of the recent episodes featured a USian trying to drive off in a Morgan, with predictable results (clutch? that’s that, I’ll just throw the stick into gear). It made me almost weep, so it did; anyone treating a beautiful car like that in such a fashion deserves shot. In the shoulder.

The ease with which I believe it is unbelievable though. I mean, it’s not like using a manual is difficult, quite the opposite. It’s easy and fun if you do it right.

A lesson which these guys will have plenty of time to consider…

Two US would-be car thieves failed dismally to make off with a Honda Accord after discovering it had a mysterious manual gearbox, RTÉ reports.

Having menaced the owner with a gun outside a pizza restaurant in Georgia, and relieved him of his wallet and car keys, the pair of teen master criminals prepared to make good their escape. However, according to an employee of the pizza outlet, “they could not start it because it had stick shift”.

Oh dear. That sound you hear is me despairing for humanity.