I didn't quite catch that...

After a bit of a break, it’s back to the desk this morning.

However, times have been quiet recently, so I can’t quite think of anything much to say on the blog front. I’ll have to rack my brain over that one…

Six years on the trot for this graphic. It’s clearly a winner…

Myself and TLF are off on a wild adventure today. We’re planning on getting from the deepest darkest parts of South London, through the wilds of the Blackwall Tunnel and the NE postal district, into Essex (beware, thar be white Ford Capri cabriolets…) and from thence onto a Ryanair plane to Norn Iron.

Things that could go wrong: traffic in the south, the Blackwall Tunnel, the NE, the M11; going near the M25; ice on the runway at Stansted; Belfast weather…

But sure, it means that I get to spend Christmas with the woman that I plan on spending the rest of my life with. So, worth it.

‘course, it also means that the rest of the family get to scare her away with the traditional family oddness. We’ll have to see if we can dial that down a little bit…

The BBC posits eight reasons why Copenhagen ‘failed’. Some of them are actually sensible – the organisational farce, the fact that Obama hasn’t had enough time to blag his way into getting the US to believe all the claptrap. But some things listed as negatives are in fact positives, for example the US system of negotiation. It’s nice to have a second voice with a veto, it stops really idealistic leaders signing away the family silver at a whim.

But the real reasons that the summit didn’t come out with a single document are more simple:

1. The developed world was shocked at how huge the developing world’s bribe would be to accept any agreement – hundreds of billions a year. That’s not a bribe, that’s paying tribute…
2. Er, people are starting to realise that climate change is a massive practical joke that’s being played on everyone.

In the face of those facts, why would anyone agree to any deal?

Last Thursday night, there was bad snow over here. But it was expected, and it fell after most people had finished their journeys home, and the councils had enough time for preparation to tidy things up before the next day. And all that went well; I was particularly impressed with my own borough who managed to send all their street sweeping dudes out to clear pavements and everything. The drivers coped well, and all in all I was a little bit surprised by how well it went.

However, last evening it started snowing just before rush hour. Oh dear. No gritting that I could see, and the only snow plough that was in evidence was attached to a forklift in the grounds of the O₂. The buses went to shit, the trains are doing their best to follow, and the drivers – for the most part very good – were ruined by the few people who were doing typical London driving in conditions where tailgating and inching out of junctions into traffic don’t work.

So, the verdict on London in snow: very good when it’s expected. When it’s not, be prepared to walk…

Myself and TLF went to see Avatar over the weekend. And, for the first time, I went to the effort of going to an IMAX to see a film. I’ll say this:

Wow

Like all of James Cameron’s work, the plot isn’t anything particularly special. Nor is the dialogue. In fact, some of the characters are poor in comparison to his previous work. But the visuals were absolutely stunning. He’s clearly pushed back the boundaries of CGI and motion capture by quite a considerable way.

I recommend it.

See, I’d make a fantastic movie critic. No doubt about where I stand on the films I discuss…

Whenever it has snowed in Belfast, I’ve generally been impressed by the behaviour of the drivers. They respond well.

But now I’m in London. And it’s snowing. Lets see how they step up to the plate…

And yes, I’ve made concessions to the weather. I’m wearing sensible shoes and not my office wear on the walk to work. But that’s it.

It gets even more serious. All those things are straining, but behind them the gasified remains of dead animals are being fed at high pressure into a fire, causing a turbine to spin at an unbelievable rate, spinning electromagnets that send their current through hundreds of miles of wires to be thrown through electromagnets again before finding it into my house to get the damn thing started in the first place.

As the dude said, any technology sufficiently advanced is indistinguishable from magic. We may have passed that point some time ago…

There are two genders: male and female.

One gender likes doing sensible things: driving fast, drinking beer, watching explosions on the tellybox and talking shit. The other does silly things: shopping, talking the not fun type of shit, all those bad things.

Of course, there is a lot of fun to be had when the genders mix. Sometimes, though, there is less fun. And one example is when the male goes shopping at the behest of the female.

Unless you do it like this.

A man who landed a helicopter on the roof of a shopping centre in Athlone, County Westmeath, so he could collect keys, has been fined 5,000 euros.

Sean O’Brien, 50, of Ballycumber, County Offaly, was convicted on 10 charges relating to the incident at the Parkrite Texas Centre, in July 2007.

Yes, he went to the uncool place and tried to bring the cool. But he did it a little bit wrong, and ended up in court. Oops.

That’s not the bit that got me, though. Two paragraphs stand out from the rest of the article:

“The defendant now displays no grasp whatsoever of the rules, common sense, that is where he has difficulty,” the judge said.

Solicitor Tom Madden said his client was a man of “no means” who did not own the helicopter and is now on disability.

So, we have fact one: the man has no grasp of common sense. And then we have fact two: someone let him drive their helicopter.

How daft was that guy, eh?

I was wandering through Lewisham – as you do – the other day, when I noticed something a little bit odd. Namely, this:

That, ladies and gentlemen, looks to me suspiciously like a WW2 air raid siren. At the edge of one of the small little town centres that make up London, near a brand new police station and not a lot else. Yet I’d say that it pre-dates the police station.

So, what do you think? Has it been there since the war, or has it been put there more recently? And if that is the case, why, and why there? After all, the police station used to be an Army & Navy department store, and I doubt it was installed to let people know about the sales…

And, for a further point, does anyone know where you’d actually find the answers to such questions? Just to satisfy my nosiness, obviously.

From the inbox of TLF. I’ve been trying to point out to her that exercise in a gym is just a bit wrong. And now I have to worry about a dude called Cristo as well…
More »

It’s nice of Alastair Darling to effectively concede that there is no chance of Labour winning the next election, isn’t it?

Well, that’s the only explanation that I can come up with for his Pre-budget Report yesterday, in which he bravely put off any single decision until after the election. Meaning that all the difficult choices that are needed – and there are many – will need to be made by the winners of that election.

And that means that Darling assumes that that won’t be him, and that the Tories will be the ones that need to make the cuts. So Labour can then blame the evil tories for killing the public sector, while Labour just built the gallows and tied the noose.

It’s a fun way to govern, isn’t it? with no sense of responsibility, but plenty of thinking of destroying your opponents no matter the cost…

Of course, the irony is that for the first half of their time in government, New Labour were busy accusing ‘the previous administration’ for anything that they didn’t like. Despite the previous government being responsible for, y’know, the financial bedrock that Brown/Blair then proceeded to replace with sand…

Law Abiding Citizen: an excellent film, with just the right sorts of action. Lots of explosions, lots of shock moments, but very little in the way of actual fighting.

Plus, it raises an interesting point about something that really bugs me about the American justice system: plea bargains.

As TLF said on leaving the cinema, they are a damn good idea in large conspiracies. When there is a house of cards, prosecutors need to find the one that they can remove easily to bring the whole edifice down. But the rest of the time, they’re being used as a tool to make for easy trials and good prosecutor records that can then be brought in front of the electorate.

So justice is most emphatically not done, while the politicised lawyers get to appear to be tough on crime. Lose lose, to my mind.

Not quite lose lose enough to justify getting yourself sent to prison, though…

For my first Christmas in London, we have actually gone to some effort. And actually did more with a tree than either of us have done in a couple of years.

Merry feckin’ Christmas!

For th record, I fear that I’m moving more towards the SWM attitude to Christmas, rather than Lyle‘s. But I’m not comfortable about admitting that yet.

I’d heard, many months ago, that Top Gear were going to Belfast, to do an Italian Job style loop in the new sewer tunnels. But when I actually watched the relevant show, it wasn’t that simple.

Instead of merely doing a bit in the sewer, they did an extended run up the Antrim Coast Road, a little diversion with the Belfast Giants in the Odyssey, a runabout in the H&W shipyard, an aerial shot on either Samson or Goliath, the bit in the sewer, and a big bit featuring the Stena HSS.

It was rather like a big tourist board ad, and it was the most obvious one of those I’ve seen on TG since they visited Bristol a few years ago.

Bloody entertaining, though. Even if some of the locals aren’t exactly thrilled by it…

In the saga of the abandoned car; there has been no further deterioration of the vehicle, but there has recently been another sticker affixed: a notification of authority to remove or destroy.

Still, it’s been there for three weeks now. Clearly abandoned, and yet with nothing more than a couple of broken windows to show for it. London is strange at times; at home there would have been a nice bonfire by this point, at at the very least a sectarian slogan on the side.

When you have a technically interesting product; when you have a market to sell that product to; when you have a strategy for success, there is one thing you shouldn’t do.

You shouldn’t meet with Gordon Brown.

Poor Gordon is something of an oddity; Guido has taken to calling him Jonah Brown because he curses anything he comes out in favour of. Be that a sporting team, the UK economy or some annoying Irish twins on X-factor, anyone and anything that gets the support of Gordon is due to fail, real soon.

So, my advice to B9 shipbuilding: cancel this meeting, ASAP.

A delegation from a Larne-based company developing eco-friendly cargo ships is to meet Prime Minister Gordon Brown.

B9 Shipping designs and manufactures cargo ships which are not dependent on fossil fuels. The first such vessel will be launched in 2012.

It was one of 100 companies invited to Downing Street on Thursday evening for “embracing the low-carbon economy”.

It’s common knowledge that I’m not particular a believer in the need to switch to low-carbon. But I recognise sense when I see it, and if you can do this economically and free up more oil for the rest of us, then that’s a good thing. So I’ll be sad to see these 100 companies succumb to the curse of Jonah.

Hence my appeal: all of them should pull out. Now.

However, it can be damn entertaining.

Like, for example, when dishonest researchers get to stand down.

The ongoing fun over leaked emails at one of the foremost climate change talking shops is brilliant – some of the blatant lying and trickery that have long been obvious are now being seen by even such publications as the Economist, who are somewhat less greenish/mentalist this week than last.

And seeing Prof Jones get the comeuppance for his outright failure to adhere to any scientific standard is gratifying. It’s what I’ve often said: if the data really supported the theories of man-made climate change, then the raw data would be out there for all to see and for anyone with a calculator to crunch it.

Restricting such data can be legitimate for only two real reasons in this case, I think. Either because the input doesn’t corroborate the output (which I think is the case), or there is a commercial advantage to be protected. Actually, that might be the case as well – if the CRU is shown to be an unreliable source of information, then in a fair world its funding would be cut. And it would wither. And it would be bad for me to want that, but at the same time I wouldn’t exactly cry myself to sleep over it…

All we need is a classic Snipes one-liner, and a little bladework, and I’d happily pay the entrance fee for that movie…