I’ve linked to Knowhere.co.uk before. And, through a convoluted set of links I won’t bore you with, I arrived there today. To see that there is an entry for the first glen with a harbour.

Yes, people. Portglenone is moving up in the world. First they get internet connections (hell, I didn’t know that they had phones. Or electricity, for that matter). Now they have an entry on a sk8r site. Dude, I wish my town was that cool.

So what can you do there? Well…

Clubs (Dance Music)

• The only club you’ll get may be over the head
• clubland in cookstown is bonkers the elk in toome which is crap the met in armagh is lethal
• Line dancing clubs possibly
• i go 2 portrush, kellys cos the clubs round portglenone r 4 gypsys
• there are no clubs as such but most of the teenagers of the town head (every friday night) on a bus to slaughtneill hall for the best disco to hit northern ireland yet

Music Venues

• Giggin the Bann volume 4 in september ’03
• Hanna’s Factory was converted for the gig’n’ the bann festival.
• The Main Street when the local corsa gang has their Ministry Mix on too loud
• the flagh but its utter rubbish

Cinemas

• One is now selling tyres and the other is a bethel temple
• maghera cinema or ballymena all withinm 20 minute drive
• Used to be one beside the chinese over the bridge – but there is a local video shop and I hear home cinema TV’s are very popular!
• ballymena cinema is ok

Now I know where I’ve been going wrong all these years. I thought that the best night out would be away from the country. I realise now that I should have headed deeper into it for the best craic.

And slaughtneill? Please god, let this be a pisstake. It’s a GAA hall right in the arsehole of nowhere. With a CD player and a bottle of white lightning.