Right, ladies and gentlemen. Observations from the previous weeks have led me to introducing these rules for the world. Heed them well.
Henceforth, the following are banned:
- Ponchos as fashion items. You’re not in Mexico, so just stop it, m’kay?
- Pink as a colour for trousers for people over six.
- Yellowas a colour for trousers for people over six.
- Drunk twelve year olds who think that flirting with bouncers is anything but sick, sick, sick. Go home, ya daft durnken brats.
- People who think that “Yeah, but you’re going to let me in anyway, right?” is a comprehensive arguements.
That is all. For now. There may be more.
Can we also ban people who can’t remember what they’ve already said. E.g. asking if I’d turn a blind eye to putting black socks over grubby trainers. No. The answer is still no the third time. It wasn’t a good idea to begin with, and in this case persistance will not pay off.
Either they’re stupid, they think *I’m* stupid (which would only prove they’re both stupid and wrong) or they’ve heard good things about shoe pie and want to try some.
You know you love it.
[…] hings that annoy me. In the past this has included middle-aged women in denim catsuits and ponchos, what sort of thing. Now, there is an addition to the banned list. Supermarkets putting […]
[…] fashions. So, we have more farking yellow trousers. And more ponchos. Did nobody get the memo? All those are currently banned. Other annoyances with regard to this: that whole thing with guys we […]