From the archives:

I am sore at the moment.

My manager had a new project for me:

Manager: Felix? Could you come into my office please? I have a new function that I would like you to fulfill for the company.

Me: Sounds curious

Manager: Right. I have some news for you. Would you mind taking off your trousers whilst I tell you this? Oh, and turn around.

Me: Anything for the company.

Manager: (To the sound of me being bum raped) We (in) are (out) not (in) going (out) to (in) give (out) you (in) the (out) money (in) that (out) we (in) said (out) you (in) would (out) get (in) next (out) month (shake it all about).

Me: Great. Can I have a something for the blood? What is my new job description?

Manager: Fuck buddy for the managers.

Me: Cool. Do I get dental with that?

Manager: Oral maybe.

This sums up my pain following todays meeting. “Come along, just to see what they’re like”, says the boss. “You’ll need the background to this for the training next week”, says the boss. What the boss most emphaticially did not say way “Come along to the meeting, see exactly how much work is to be done, and then blink in horror at the sight of it all falling on your head.” I know she didn’t say this, because if she had I would have been very ill today, and unable to attend.

So. I appear to have filled the role of primary contact for queries relating to patient data quality for one of the largest health trusts. 600,000 odd patient records, 5% of which are matched. So, some sums:
600,000 x 95% = 570,000 still to be matched

Lets assume 5% of them have inconsistencies that will require me to intervene.
570,000 x 1% = 28,500 requiring my attention

20 minutes on each sound fair? Considering I’ll have to log into different databases, dig a bit, phone practices, that sort of thing
28,600 x (20 mins each) = 8,550 hours

37 hours a week at work…
8,550 / 37 = 231 weeks

I’m only working here for 104 weeks. And this isn’t even my primary role in this employment. Hell, it isn’t even my second role. Or third. It ranks about sixth.

So, yea, it was nice.