Headline news: Canadian sub in difficulty off Ireland.
Now, the submarine in question (HMCS Chicoutimi) used to be HMS Upholder. It was designed as a diesel-electric complement to the nuclear fleet.
In recent times, diesel-electric boats have generally been considered in-shore affairs. Or boats best suited when stealth was essential.
So what the frick was it doing off Ireland? Not noted for being close to the shore of Canada. And why were you hiding from us?
There is only one possible conclusion:
Canada is after our lucky charms!
Well, they’ll have a fight on their hands for them. That’s all I’ll be saying right now…
Yes, I realise that it was probably in transit to Faslane or something. Don’t let that get in the way of a good conspiracy theory.
It is indeed obvious. The Canadians have decided to do what we should have done years ago — level the province and start again without any firearms or edged weapons.
I’ll be retreating into my hole again now.
Dude, your ass, my foot. I’ve checked, the stars say that they’ll get along just fine.