I may have mentioned in the past that I listen to the radio at work, and when I’m driving as well. And, as such, I’m currently listening to it. And, in related news, the old blood pressure is rising.

Basicially, I like to listen to Radio1. And I’ll tell you why.

Commercial radio in this state, on the whole, sucks. The ads (every other song) are shite, tacky, and boring. The playlist is stupidly predicable. The DJ’s are just plain stupid.

So, the Beeb it is. However, they seem to be doing their best to alienate me. A breakdown of their line-up.

• Chris Moyles. The best popular show on the radio, bar none. While the fat one himself can get a tad annoying, the sheer depth of the team makes it work. It nearly always feels like a chat down t’pub. And Moyles has absolutely no fear of pushing the boundaries of taste and decency, which is always good. So, a big thumbs up for this show.
• Jo Whiley. So, so, so, so up herself, it’s unbelieveable. Sure, she generally plays decent enough music, but her voice, manner, and general attitude piss me off something chronic. I’d say this is a neutral show for me; not as annoying as the commercial alternatives, but not someone that’d make me listen to a station on her on.
• Colin & Edith. I had absolutely no hopes for this show. Previous listening to Mr Murray had left me very annoyed, and Edith always seemed to be the poor, unfunny, partner in her ‘work’ with Cat Deeley. But, much to my surprise, they seem to work. I didn’t think I’d ever say this, but they are much better than Mark & Lard (whom they replaced last year). A big thumbs up for this show too.
• Scott bloody Mills. This man is, quite possibly, the worst person on radio. Ever. He takes the worse of commercial radio, and puts it on on drivetime. If you want to know why I always leave work early, this is it. I just can’t stand this show. In fact, I’ll have to start a little list of “things about the Scott Mills show that annoy me”
  • The callers. Mid link, you’ll get “hello, who’s this”, and then some random will come on and make some inane comment which adds nothing to the show other than to get Mills’ voice off the air for eight seconds.
  • “Your call”. If you can’t be bothered to work out links for 5 – 5:45, why the fuck are you on at that time?
  • ‘Celebrity calls’. They weren’t funny the first time, and they’re not funny now. It’s so cringeworthy, I can’t bear to listen to it. Even DTR wouldn’t play that shit.
  • Mills, himself. And his voice. And his habit of spending at least half of his talk time on dull conversations with people who sound like they were given a choice of having teeth pulled or being on the radio.

  To be fair, Flirt Divert is alright. And the Wonder Years on a Friday is good. The rest of it, though, sucks almighty balls. Please cancel and replace with anything. Silence would be a good start.

And that’s basicially the daytime lineup. Half good, a quarter alright, and a quarter bad. Very bad.

But why the sudden alienation? I mean, that line up has been the same since May. What happened to make me so pissed? Well, Sara fucking Cox is covering for Jo Whiley. I hate this woman.

Imagine this feeling: you have sensitive teeth, and are starving. The only food available is ice cream. So, you’re eating the ice cream, and the pain is searing. And the only noise you can hear is someone dragging their nails on a blackboard. Getting the feeling?

That’s what Sara bloody Cox does to me. And her jokes make me want to cause immediate physical harm to her. She is bloody unbearable. And she’s on all week. AAAARRRRGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!

And breathe.

Anyway. Radio1 has an ace in the whole. A show that trumps all others. That is unbeatable, unassailable, unquestionable. To summarise, it rocks. It has fantastic tracks, it has very a very competent DJ, it has great interaction, it has great guests, and it does it all well.

Step forward, Annie Mac. Making up for all of Radio1’s weaknesses, and then some.