Why would anyone sign up for this?
My local council has decided, in it’s “wisdom”, to issue ID cards to any under 18s that want it. Why the feck would they do that, and more to the point, why the feck would any kid want ID proving that they’re under 18?
Problems from the Council’s point of view: a) it’s a voluntary ID card, so it’s actually no use for curbing ‘anti-social’ behaviour; b) the only thing that it’d be useful for would be ensuring the ages of people buying cigarettes, which is a Bad Thing (according to government, anyway), so why make it easier?
Problems from the pupil’s point of view: a) buh-bye, civil liberties; b) why would you want to prove that you’re under 18? I mean, when I was under 18, all I wanted was ID to prove that I was over 18 so that I could get drink.
The only things that I can think of that you can do before you’re 18 that rely on age are going to see 15 films and buying smokes. And you can’t buy smokes till you’re 16, yet you can get a provisional driving licence from 16 (if you say you’re going to be driving a tractor). And cinema’s work on the time honoured “we don’t really give a shit, we want your money principle”. So, this card is filling a gap that is already filled, so I don’t see why they’re bothering.
Except for the inevitable creepage, though.
- What are the odds that simple things will need this card in the near future. School dinners, field trips, collecting books?
- Access to council buildings? Sure, let’s see your ID first. No, it doesn’t matter that you’re a citizen, you have to prove that you are. Here: jump through that hoop. And that one. Bark like a dog. Good citizen.
- If these kids are used to carrying an ID card voluntarily, they won’t mind so much when carrying a national ID card is compulsory.
Remember, people: the official IDQCT… line about government sponsored ID cards is:
YOU CAN SHOVE THAT UP YOUR ARSE. Sideways. After sharpening the edges.
Oh, and people, remember the ways that, once they are introduced, you can accidentally not get one:
- They’re very stubborn about having photos endorsed. Apparently, getting Big Bird from Seasme Street to sign it does not an endorsment make. And they had to get back to me, wasting several weeks. Shame.
- My banker informs me that sending HM Government cheques dated 1st Feb 2187 does not actually count as paying them. I think that I should have been told this in advance.
- I keep forgetting details. Such as postal addresses that forms need to be sent to. I always get receipts though, so I can prove that I tried. Even if the form ended up in Calcutta.
- On the non-accidental front: punch anyone who tries to make you carry such a card. Make sure to hand them a note:
And would carrying a fucking ID card have prevented this? Not unless it was a fucking bodyguard in disguise, no, it wouldn’t…
Obviously, I could be very wrong about all of this, and it could be that there are very good, sensible reasons for these cards, and there may be no slippage. There may also be world peace and I may also be the soap-on-a-rope in Angelina Jolie’s shower, and I’m just dreaming this…