You know, I try. I really do. I take current events, and try to make them funny. Well, not really, I throw bile and hatred at them, and hope that it’s indistinguishable from ‘funny’ from a distance.
Then those bastards from Rockall come along and make me look stupid. OK, stupider.
An alliance of Greens, Environmentalists, Road Safety Campaigners and Public Decency advocates are to lobby the next government to have BBC’s Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson banned. The alliance also includes the Campaign for Rural England, the Berkshire Soroptomist Chapter, the British Vauxhall Owners Club, Men Who Like Motorbikes, the Caravan Club, Kill Your Speed, the UK Woolie Pullie Confederation, UKIP and Christian Voice. Transport 2000, Sustrans, the Environment Agency, the Scottish Tourist Board, the Welsh Tourist Board, Plaid Cymru, the Vegan Society, the League Against Cruel Sports, the Women’s Institute, the Women’s Guild, Women’s Own Magazine, British Waterways, the Civil Aviation Authority and the EU also backed the plans to have Clarkson ? real name Jeremiah Dibnah Clarkson Jnr, 47 ? removed from his post at BBC2’s flagship motoring programme.
“Instead of driving Ferraris, Mr Clarkson should have a TV programme in which he rides bicycles and drives buses. He’d find driving a bus a lot more fun than driving a Ferrari,” said Steve Hounsham of Transport 2000. However, The Rockall Times conducted a poll amongst 127,500 bus drivers and found 99.8 per cent preferred driving Ferraris.
Oh well. Back to the day job.