So. A shopping centre has banned baseball caps being worn within it. Some people no likee this development, but I’m all for it.

Whyfor? Well, one simple reason: it’s the owners fucking shopping centre, and they can say who they allow in and who they don’t. Think of it like your house: you decide who you want in, and who you don’t. Being asked to remove a hat is not a big price to pay.

I’ve been in the position of having to ask people to remove hats before gain entry to a property, and I’ll tell you this: most people named as being discriminated against deal with it very simply. American tourists will, politely, ask the reason for the policy, and will then say something along the lines of “Sorry, I didn’t know that, I’ll remove it”. People undergoing chemo will explain their position, and generally will be allowed in with the hat on.

But the people who get all agressive are the wannabe gangstas. You know, fifteen year olds from the Markets and the Village, with the lowslung jeans and basketball sweats. And some of them actually try to use the word ‘dawg’. So you have to, politely, explain the rules, the reasons for the rules, the right we have to have the rules, and that, with respect, neither Belfast (nor Kent, in Bluewater’s case) are part of the american ghetto scene, and that they look like prats.

Oh, and you also get the girls who have bad hair. Look, girls, your hair is fine. And, in all honesty, what with your face being bright orange and your eyebrows being drawn on with pencil, nobody will have time to laugh at your hair.

Not that this is a pet peeve or nuffin…

0 thoughts on “Hats

  1. Hang on – they banned hoodies as well? Hmm… i better go about sorting a new wardrobe then! The goits! Boycott bluewater!

  2. mwk: we’re not allowed to dish out beatings. However, people will now be barred for using the words ‘dawg’, ‘nigga’ and ‘homies’ in anything other than a purely sarcastic tone.

    joe: I’m assuming that they mean that the hoods must be kept down, rather than ‘no hoodies to be worn, ever’. But you never know.

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