Ve must be protected, ja

Dear Lord. Advertisers are now banned from having “any link between alcohol and sexual success“.

How pathetic is that? Is there anyone out there who seriously believes that a bevy of beverages makes you more attractive to the opposite sex? Perhaps it makes them more attractive to you, and maybe gives you a bit of the ol’ Dutch courage, but you’ll be a salivating mess in the corner, which is never a good look. And everyone, bar perhaps those drunk at a given time, knows this.

Plus, the world knows that people like ads which feature scantily clad women. For some reason, it grabs the attention. But now that’s a bad thing, because it could link the drink with the women, which is such a believable occurance, and such a false pretence, that we need to be protected from it. Yes, we plebs are incapable of figuring out that a skinful of drink won’t automaticially have fit people fawning over us. We are that stupid.

Thank you, nanny, for watching over us.

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