You, sirs, are hereby found guilty.

The ‘sirs’ in this case being plentyful, and including (but not limited to) David Tennant, Pete Doherty, Franz Ferdinand, and the Kaiser Chiefs.

The crime of which they are guilty? Guiding the legions of twats that frequent my workplace. Guiding them in matters of fashion. Guiding them into wearing suit jackets with jeans and thinking that this makes them the epitome of cool. When 99% of them are still the annoying wee shites that would follow any herd.

The punishment that I would suggest? Horsewhipping. In public. And the revocation of any artistic licence that they may previously have held.

Oh, and it should be noted that I’m not against the style itself, because there are very few styles that I’m either strongly for or against (except ponchos and leggings, both of which can be found in the ‘strongly against’ column). I’m not even against ‘cool’. I just get annoyed by people who think that copying a couple of overrated bands will transfer the cool onto them. It does not.

9 thoughts on “You, sirs, are hereby found guilty.

  1. It’s not even original. Guys who considered themselves the epitome of ‘cool’ were wearing suit jackets with ripped jeans in Ballymena town in the seventies. I have the photos to prove it. Are the jackets pinstriped? Do they wear grandad fringed scarves?

    But say what you like it is still a better look than shapeless designer tracksuits and baseball caps. Non?

  2. The jackets are pinstriped, yes, but I have not seen any scarves. Yet.

    And you are absolutely right about the tracksuits. They’re the one fashion item I just don’t understand. I can see why the lowslung jeans happened, I can see why the jackets are back in force, I can even see why leggings came back. but nobody, ever, looked better in a tracksuit than they did in another item of clothing. Nobody looks more glamourous or sexy in one. So why are they popular?

  3. There is a fellow in Ballymena who sports a hitler-type moustache and wears his trackie bottoms tucked into his socks – which are pulled halfway up his shins. I was told by someone, who works in a shop where this vision of loveliness regularly shoplifts, that this is a trendy look called ‘Ned’ popular in the back streets and sink estates of Northern English towns. Can this be true?

    And you can see why leggings came back. Tell me as well. Ought I to desist from wearing them?

  4. In my overly simplified worldview, they came back because there are some people who do look very good while wearing them. Which cannot be said for the trackies.

  5. Do not discount the comfort factor. Something that hangs at one’s normal waist (adjustable with a drawstring or elastic), doesn’t flap about the ankles, does not contain shoulder pads, and stretches where required can’t be all bad!

  6. Not having the slender elongated pins of Kate Moss and Sienna Miller I’ll be giving this one a miss this time round. Why even Lindsay Lohan looks dumpy in leggings. As for you Ronni we need to see photographic evidence before we give our approval.

    And Ed – isn’t fashion writing fun?

  7. Nelly: I would deny that this is fashion writing. More ranting about what The Yoof Of Today are doing. Which is much more fun, and pays better.

  8. I am not! I’ve not been in Egypt for years!

    And, speaking as a reluctant representative, I apologise for Da Yoof. Come the revolution, all that I rant about shall be corrected.

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