Yesterday was the last part of my DS course. So we got to sit through three modules: drugs awareness, Building Control and Health & Safety. And the test. I forgot that test. I said this the first time I sat it, and I’ll say it again: any test where it takes twice as long to fill in your name as it does to answer the questions needs redesigned.

Anway. The BC and H&S sections were, as you’d expect, treated with healthy amounts of cynicism, as befits the crowd. Some of the fellas tried their best to destroy the woman taking the course, but most of us wanted out so got him to stfu and move on. Which was nice. Most of what he said was valid, though. And, dear lady, sometimes accidents are accidents, and there’s not always someone to blame, so you can take your HSE and ambulance chasing ways and shove them up your arse. Just sayin’.

Anyway. As befits the very mature and sensible audience, the drugs awareness was the highlight of the show. Mainly because the fella taking the session had raided us some months back (turns out he was the guy who’d been handling the dog), and we’d all got on fairly well with him. And, perhaps unwittingly, he alerted some of the more sheltered attendees to the possibilities of hash oil. A cat which should, in all probability, have been left in the bag.

An opinion which was reinforced when he recounted his first almost seizure of said substance. Someone was admitted to the Mater with what appeared to be a shotgun wound to his left buttock. However, closer inspection revealed that a small glass bottle that had been in his back pocket had exploded. Due to the oil in it becomming agigated (by his Dancing Like A Loon™).

So, kids, if you’re hiding highly unstable chemicals on your person, restrict your Loon-acy. Accidents cause disembowelment.