I’ve mentioned my mild dislike of commercial radio; specificially the ads on said medium.
This is a common rant, of course. I remember, for example, His Clarksonness having a right old go at them in one of his books, years ago. And I don’t like it when otherwise sensible schools get involved. But the worst, the absolute worst, side of the damn ads was mentioned by TwentyM:
Female VO 1: And where is O’Reilly’s Nice Dress shop?
FemaleVO 2: It’s on Main Street right beside the post office. O’Reilly’s Nice Dress shop really do have some nice dresses!
Female VO 1: I guess that’s why it’s called O’Reilly’s Nice Dress shop then!
Female VO 2: *girly laugh*
Male VO: If you want nice dresses make sure you go to O’Reilly’s Nice Dress shop, Main Street, beside the post office. Sale on now!
The *girly laugh*, it really annoys me. Because, in 25 years I’ve never, as in not ever heard a real person come out with such a laugh without taking the piss. It exists in two forms: Sara fucking Cox, and the radio ad.
Leaving aside the obvious badness that is Sara fucking Cox, lets look at the radio ads. Examples of when the *girly laugh* would be deployed in ad land:
- Man does something stupid, woman rectifys it, rolls eyes and *girly laugh*
- Hen night, group of wimmen go bonkers with an inflatible fireman, fall over, *girly laugh*
- Girl wakes up, sees dog, *girly laugh*
- Girl finds out she has a week to live, finds a decent book to pass the time, *girly laugh*
But the worst of the worst is not even a full girly laugh. It’s a quasi-laugh, a raising of the tone at the end of the sentence, but in true ‘ad land girly fashion’. The offender? None other than the Shelia’s Wheels radio ad, where it ends with said girly voice saying “Terms and conditions apply” followed by almost *girly laugh*. Which would, in an ideal world, be followed by the sound of the 2×4 of Justice being liberally dispensed to all involved in the ad.
But maybe that’s just taking things too far…
Sara Cox and Vernon Kay… now, I’ve nothing against Bolton… but.. arrgghh.. I simply refuse to believe that a place that produces nothing but cheery idiots could actually build a town hall. But they have one, so it can’t be true.
So why is Bolton Uni (they have one?!) giving the Cox an honourary doctorate?!?!
Strangely enough, Kay doesn’t annoy me half as much as Cox. Probably because he’s only on half as much as her. And because he doesn’t do the girly giggle.
Still, head shots to the both of ‘em would do no harm.
It’s not so much the wholesome family-man thing he’s got going, but it’s the gut wrenching, vomit inducing, violence-inciting, smug chuminess that winds me up. I’m sorry, Vernon, but everything is not as fan-smashing-tastic is you make out.