Britons are incapable of emulating the European drinking culture because they “enjoy getting drunk,” says Labour Chairman Hazel Blears.

She told the Sunday Times people enjoyed “risk-taking” and “want to push the limits of danger”.

We live in a world where even the smallest and least dangerous of activities is subject to a risk-assessment by the health & safety officer; putting up Christmas lights requires a full and thorough investigation, and generally a department wide email informing everyone of the approved method for enjoying the season. Walking up stairs has, of course, been investigated to the full, and has been deemed ‘high risk’ in certain environments. To ride a bike, you are legally required to wear a cocoon that is brighter than the Blackpool illuminations.

Man was not made to live like this; humanity didn’t get where it was by deciding that walking over the next hill was too dangerous to outweigh any potential benefits. People thrive on risk and danger; it can bring out the best and worst in them at the same time. We’re wired to be more alive than ever at those times. And those times are being taken from us.

People will, of course, seek out ways of getting their thrills, of getting that natural high that appears in times of risk taking or danger. Some go out and ride a motorcycle in stupid ways, some go bungee jumping. Personally, I quite like the experience of standing before a group of half a dozen drunken idiots and telling them to stop being tossers. Sure, I’d be scared shitless, but by fuck you notice what’s going on around you. It doesn’t even have to get physical (hell, it generally doesn’t; words are my weapon of choice in such situations), but even knowing that it could gets the body pumped up.

So why would anyone be surprised that people take risks when they go out on a Friday night? Oh, because they’re nannying statist bastards who think that all enjoyment should be removed from the world, in case it offends others. Well, that idea can go right to hell, thankyouverymuch.