See? He really does hate you.

There has been much made recently of Gordon “never seen a hoop I didn’t want to make people jump through” Brown’s emphasis on how much he likes the Union; how he’ll always fight for the benefit of the UK as a whole; or how he really like England, really.

Part of the evidence put forth for this assertion is his support for any 2018 World Cup bid. Sure, sez he, wouldn’t it be grand for the home of football to hold such a major event.

Of course, if you look at other such major events that England has won, you see that he isn’t actually wanting something good to happen; he’s wanting something highly inconvenient and stupidly expensive to be visited upon the auld enemy.

And he’ll be the next Prime Minister. Oh joy of joys.

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