The enlightened readership of this blog (yes, I mean you lot) may be aware that I am not a fan of nannying. Nor am I a massive fan of state interference. Thusly, I generally dislike state nannying, or state supported nannying.

Such is the case with No Smoking Day. Now, I’m not a smoker, and I don’t plan on being one¹, but every year, this day makes me want to start. Instead, and in the interests of carbon neutrality, I had to go and make my own smoking device.

I find that wrapping an effigy of your least favourite government minister in tobacco and setting fire to them does the trick quite nicely. My apologies to those disturbed by the whoopin’ an’ hollerin’.

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¹ – There is one exception: a couple of friends brought me back a big ol’ Cuban ceegar from their travels. It will be saved for a special occasion; in an ideal world, there would be the whole “first born” celebration, but since I’m not to be trusted with children (by court order, no less²) and the sisters are not rushing ahead to provide nieces and nephews, it will remain unsmoked for a good while longer…

² – This is, of course, a lie. It’s merely common sense that dictates that I’m not ideal.