Said category being along the lines of “Things you hear all the time in The Movies, but didn’t expect to hear in Real Life”.

Perhaps it wouldn’t be the most used category in the world, but it would have been nice to have a handy tickbox for this particular eventuality.

Given the lack of said category, however, I’ll just have to put this here and give it an appropriate sub-heading.

Things you hear all the time in The Movies, but didn’t expect to hear in Real Life: Radio conversation division

[unheard start of conversation]

Tower: Roger [phonetic callsign], cleared for flypast, 60 knots, we’ll try and get a good look.

[time passes]

[Phonetic callsign]: How’d it look?

Tower: Not sure, but front gear looked bent significantly to the left. Please advise of intentions [phonetic callsign], suggest you stay up over the peninsula and burn off fuel.

[phonetic callsign]: Er, it’d take three hours to burn off fuel. I’ll attempt landing, and try to keep the weight off it as long as possible.

Tower: Roger that.

Fire 1: We copy.

At this point, the radio I was listening to was switched off, but since nothing like this was on the news yesterday afternoon, I can only assume it ended OK…