This should catch on

Imagine a world where silly civil servants were banned from using the following phrases:

  • There’s no money
  • What am I supposed to do?
  • I’m not dealing with this
  • We’re having lunch
  • The working day is over
  • Somebody else has the documents
  • I think I was off sick at the time

Does that sound appealing? Does it sound like something that could be a good thing? If so, plz to be moving to the Russian town of Megion, where the mayor has banned them.

On the other hand, civil servants – much like politicians – need to fill up their days with stock phrases like these. Because if they didn’t, they’d be out, doing their actual jobs and thereby shitting on all of us that little bit more…

So, Mr Mayor, I admire the theory behind your new ban, but I can’t help but think that the law of unintended consequences will come along and bite your citizens on the arse. Hard.

In all honesty, I know of civil servants who would be mute during office hours if they couldn’t use the phrases above; their entire working life seems to be nothing but the making of excuses for their not doing their job. In fact, it’s not them that to blame; it’s the job, which no rational person would ever have created, but which now needs to be filled. And the person who fills it has to deal with the nonsensical nature of the job while eeking it out for the final couple of years to enable them to retire…

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