Very thoughtfully, the BBC has arranged for someone to come along and explain, very carefully, why air travel would be much more fun if a) there weren’t the crowds, b) there was a bit of space and c) you could hear yourself think.
Last week I flew in a Zeppelin.
And from the spot, Friedrichshafen by Lake Constance in southern Germany, where the very first Zeppelin ascended back in 1900.
We just cruised for 40 minutes, but could open the windows, speak without effort, enjoy watching the world go by 1,000 ft (300m) below, and tell ourselves what it must have been like when far bigger airships were having their heyday. Such as the Graf Zeppelin which went around the world in 1929 in four hops, starting from the US, touching down in Germany, then in Japan, and then in California.
What a flight, with meals in the dining room, cabins to sleep in, and our beautiful planet not six miles down and invisible but usually a mere 1,500 ft (450m) below.
Think of all such trips.
Perhaps down to Rio in one hop, dancing if you felt like it, walking about, and not just to a doll’s-house loo.
And then stopping above your destination, watching the sun come up, shouting at the locals and then disembarking without the used-rag feeling which modern aircraft induce but refreshed, invigorated, well-fed, well-slept and delighted to be alive, instead of merely grateful that
Obviously, there the minor problem of it taking a bit more time and the major problem of it being far more expensive, but I’d love a to spend my time travelling in such a way. At least until some jackass in the CAA or DHS came along and made it ‘secure’ by stopping every fifteen minutes for a full body cavity search on all staff…
Of course, even more fun ways of travel exist.
Slower than a jet? check
Low enough to see from? check
Big windows to make the most of the view? check
More expensive than a commercial flight, but less so than the airship? check
Quiet enough to hear yourself think? Er, no, but they do supply you with a dandy set of headphones…
Can you guess what it is yet?
So, which would you rather? easyJet, an airship, or a helicopter?