I’m assuming that the entire world+wife is aware of the sheer awesomeness that is Xiao Xiao. Crazy fights, insurmountable odds, strange camera angles. And all the more brilliant because it’s all done with stick men.

In fact, the only possible way to make it better would be to have pithy one-liners, and perhaps a few gratuitous nude shots of Monica Bellucci.

Whadda know? They only went and made it.

© New Line Cinema 2007

It’s a film featuring the most unbelievable gunplay, silly yet quotable one-liners, a few gratuitous nude shots of Monica Bellucci, and not much in the way of plot to disturb the casual viewer.

I’d like to say that, being a smart and respectable guy, I found it boring and didn’t enjoy it one bit. That would be a lie, though, so I’ll have to confess to having pissed myself silly the whole way through it. Because I’m a simple fella, really…

‘course, it would have been much better if the tacky MESSAGE thing hadn’t been tacked onto the end, but I suppose they had to pretend to have a point. Boo hiss to having points, that’s what I say.

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