Whoever is doing the Onion horoscopes is clearly fucking with me.
Taurus April 20 – May 20
Having your teeth fall out in a dream usually signifies pent up anxiety and frustration. Having them fall out while you’re still awake, however, signifies something much, much worse.
Not because my teeth are falling out, while asleep or otherwise, but that caught my eye because my dreams have been somewhat … freaky recently.
Things that have been remembered in the last week or so:
- Clearly triggering the double flash of a speed camera. Not that that was the freaky bit, but it’s so vivid and real that I’m not 100% sure this didn’t actually happen…
- Being in Dublin, staying at a nice hotel, and observing the KGB use the smoking ban to lure impressionable young American embassy staff outside for the purposes of making them evil communist agents.
- The afore-mentioned nice hotel having a lift that was so fast you experienced weightlessness in it. Fine for me, since I was tall enough to brace myself against the ceiling, but not so nice for the rather diminutive Chinese dude in the lift, who unfortunately died.
- Random former colleague – who is hot – stalking me towards Dublin, then giving up and checking into the methadone clinic next door to the hostel I was in.
Yes, I know. Worrying symptoms of an underlying mental illness. But hey, if it’s underlying and undiagnosed thus far, maybe I’ll get away with it….