For the ladies…

I only say for the ladies, because I wouldn’t touch the vinegary stuff. If wine must be drunk, common decency demands that it be red…

IMPORTANT HEALTH ADVICE FOR WOMEN

Do you have feelings of inadequacy?
Do you suffer from shyness?
Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive?

If you answered ‘yes’ to any of these questions, ask your doctor or pharmacist about White Wine.

White Wine is the safe, natural way to feel better and more confident about yourself and your actions. White Wine can help ease you out of your shyness and let you tell the world that you’re ready and willing to do just about anything.

You will notice the benefits of White Wine almost immediately and with a regimen of regular doses you can overcome any obstacles that prevent you from living the life you want to live.

Shyness and awkwardness will be a thing of the past and you will discover many talents you never knew you had. Stop hiding and start living, with White Wine.

White Wine may not be right for everyone. Women who are pregnant or nursing should not use White Wine. However, women who wouldn’t mind nursing or becoming pregnant are encouraged to try it.

Side effects may include dizziness, nausea, vomiting, incarceration, erotic lustfulness, loss of motor control, loss of clothing, loss of money, loss of virginity, delusions of grandeur, table dancing, headache, dehydration, dry mouth, and a desire to sing Karaoke and play all-night rounds of Strip Poker, Truth Or Dare, and Naked Twister.

WARNING:
The consumption of White Wine may make you think you are whispering when you are not.
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~
WARNING:
The consumption of White Wine is a major factor in dancing like an idiot.
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~
WARNING:
The consumption of White Wine may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~
WARNING:
The consumption of White Wine may cause you to think you can sing.
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~
WARNING:
The consumption of White Wine may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning..
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~
WARNING:
The consumption of White Wine may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~
WARNING:
The consumption of White Wine may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people
~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~

NOW JUST IMAGINE WHAT YOU COULD ACHIEVE WITH RED WINE!!!

7 thoughts on “For the ladies…

  1. I’m hoping that the fact that The Lovely Girlfriend sent me this excuses me from any retribution. However, I’ll refrain from making any further editorial comment on it, for fear that the excuse doesn’t extend that far…

  2. On occasion I believe that she has imbibed some, yes.

    Red wine is much the same, but is considerably more drinkable. Which is nice.

  3. As I sent it to you, you can feel free to let loose your usual red vs white wine rant…

    But, for my money, both are pretty evil… Vodka’s the way forward.

  4. Vodka’s for mixing, (good) whisk(e)y requires nothing but a good tumbler. Praise Beelzebub!

    If your red is of a good quality, (I, for one, never drink anything below the £2.99 mark personally), you shouldn’t get much of a hangover.

    White wine… I wouldn’t even drink it at Communion….

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>