Not an iconic thing I want anything to do with

‘People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals’ sounds like a very reasonable group, doesn’t it? I mean, who really thinks that animals shouldn’t be treated ethically, in this day and age.

Of course, PETA aren’t reasonable. At all. They lie, they bully, they threaten and when all else fails they jump up and down and scream and scream and scream. Because the organisation seems to think that any treatment of animals is automatically unethical. Be it hunting (for sport or sustenance), farming, the keeping of pets, or the wearing of animal products, PETA seem to consistently on the ‘fucking loon’ side of the argument. And ‘fucking impractical loon’ most of the time as well.

As in this case.

The Ministry of Defence is to meet an animal rights group to discuss alternatives to the bearskin hats worn by guards at Buckingham Palace.

People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (Peta) has approached Vivienne Westwood and Stella McCartney to design a new shape for the 18in hat.

The ministry also wants to avoid if possible any change in the look of the red-coated sentries guarding Buckingham Palace, whose uniforms have long been one of the top tourist sights in London.

However, Peta is proposing a new hat shape and has also approached designer Marc Bouwer as well as McCartney and Westwood.

See, in this instance it wouldn’t be enough to stop using fur. No, you’d have to stop using fur and stop using the memory of fur. You’d have to change one of the principle tourist images of the UK just because PETA want you too.

Frankly, I hope that the MoD take one look at the designs, fold said designs up so that there’s plenty of sharp edges, and then insert them into the bottoms of the PETA folk at the meeting. And Vivienne Westwood/Stella McCartney for good measure.

It’s what the bears would have wanted, y’see. And I know this for the same reasons that PETA know what animals want it: I made it up to fit my worldview.

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