Soon, the children of the UK shall be able to sleep easier in their beds.

Soon, their nightmares shall be without the creepiest of fears.

Soon, this war will be won.

What war, you ask? Simple, the war against those freaky creepy folk who whitewash their faces and climb into cars with seventy three like minded fools.

These fools, in point of fact.

Britain is suffering a shortage of home grown clowns and acrobats, MPs on the home affairs committee have been told.

Hurrah!

Now, to turn our attention to mime artists. Soon society will be a better place for all of us…