I went for a little party t’other day. Initially, I was told it was a little barbecue. And then it was upgraded to a 70s theme party for reasons that were unspecified.

When I turned up, some of the reason for the 70’s theme was made clear. The house was itself somewhat 70s themed.

Something didn’t just sit right about the house though. It was new to the hosts – they’d only just bought it. It was large, well situated, and they got it quickly for a whack below market value. There was a pretty special little barbecue area out the back.

The catch?

Well, it was very seventies styled. There were extensive electrical installations all over the show, wood panelling, a bar where the kitchen should be, a big double door fridge and a large corner bath upstairs. The door handles were made of transparent blue plastic.

The biggest catch? The upstairs layout. There were fully a dozen plug sockets next to the heads of the beds. There were large, built in wardrobes with hidden compartments. And there was sound proofing in place in each bedroom.

In short, it was at best the kind of place where the idea of a good party involved a dish full of car keys. A less good option that was mentioned might be to do with a knocking shop. And the least good option – the cops come calling in a few months and ask politely to dig up the patio…

Either way – a good place to visit for a party. Not the sort of place that I’d want to live in though.