It’s that time of year again, where the government puts forth how much they plan to screw us this year. By making an octogenarian tell us.

EXPECTED NEW MEASURES
Fiscal Responsibility Bill – put into law promise to halve deficit
Financial Services and Business Bill – clamp down on bonuses for bankers taking too many risks
The Flood and Water Management Bill – give councils powers to prevent floods
Social Care Bill – neediest elderly to get home care
Policing, Crime and Private Security Bill – DNA of more sex offenders added to database
Energy Bill – give Ofgem more powers to keep prices down
Bribery Bill – make it offence to bribe foreign officials and for business to fail to prevent bribery
Digital Economy Bill – set up fund to bring in universal broadband by 2012
Cluster Munitions Prohibition Bill – ratify international ban on cluster bombs

Surprisingly, most of those don’t make my blood boil. Because they’re presented in nice, sterilised form. What they mean:

Fiscal Responsibility Bill – put into law promise to halve deficit
A way for G Brown to say he’s being tough on cutting the deficit. But expect it so late in the Parliament that his government hasn’t a chance to implement any of it – they’ll just pass that burden onto whichever lucky sod wins the election.

Financial Services and Business Bill – clamp down on bonuses for bankers taking too many risks
And expect may sub clauses on people who earn more than the lefties think is fair.

The Flood and Water Management Bill – give councils powers to prevent floods
So local planners – among the most despised people in the entire world, almost as bad as bankers – will get more power. Hurrah.

Social Care Bill – neediest elderly to get home care
Yes, that’s a fine sentiment. But how much extra paperwork for all involved will there be, how many more random commissions and quangos will administer it?

Policing, Crime and Private Security Bill – DNA of more sex offenders added to database
Because the world’s biggest DNA database just ain’t big enough…

Energy Bill – give Ofgem more powers to keep prices down
.. by making realities of international trade just not apply to the UK, one assumes.

Bribery Bill – make it offence to bribe foreign officials and for business to fail to prevent bribery
Note that the burden will now be on private companies to prove their innocence here, rather than the state to prove any wrongdoing. That’s nice.

Digital Economy Bill – set up fund to bring in universal broadband by 2012
Things that the government don’t seem to realise: most of the people who don’t have broadband now, just don’t want it Leave them alone.

Cluster Munitions Prohibition Bill – ratify international ban on cluster bombs
Why? Surely you could just not use them unless you really need to? I don’t understand this trend for banning perfectly sensible weapons just because some countries can’t be trusted with them. The kind of country that uses them the worst will still use them – they’re hardly that worried about international disapproval, are they?

So, there we go. Yet another Queens Speech. Yet another list of future rodgerings. I hope you’re all looking forward to it!