Lucky, lucky Londoners. The poor little kids of the capital, who are in desperate need of alcohol and cigarettes, are being given the chance to get ID cards to prove that they are who they say they are.

Young people in London are getting the chance to get their hands on an ID card, the lucky so-and-sos.

The next stage of the Home Office’s attempts to get the cards accepted is to target those privacy-disregarding, Facebook-obsessed youths in the capital. People aged between 16 and 24 years old who hold a current or recently expired passport can apply for a card from 8 February.

Because they don’t think that kids who have passports will want to show them, and will instead queue up to pay for the privilege of joining a lot of excited people from Manchester and get national identity cards. All 1,300 of them.

Something less than a rip-roaring success, yes?

Also, I think it’s quite ironic that the government is encouraging drinking on one hand, and complaining about the damage of drinking on the other…