Not too long ago, the presence of the urban fox round these parts was only a little problem. They caused some noise, yes, but it was outside and could be ignored by those of us with two legs.

Now, however, there is a four-legs in the house. And the recent increase in foxy-screaming (or barking, howling, whatever it is they do) has sent our poor four-legs a bit potty. Barking is only entertaining when it’s outside and not during the hours of darkness – not when it’s inside at 0030 when you’re due to get up at six.

So, does anyone know of a hunt local to South East London that would be keen on bagging a few little foxies? I’ll meet their reasonable expenses if it means I get to have a good nights sleep and the little buggers stop shitting on my lawn…