Young love was spotted on the streets of Belfast last night. Well, when I say ‘spotted’, I mean ‘heard’.
Picture the scene: two young lovers, walking down the street, in that most traditional of Belfast walks: looking fixedly away from each other and screaming. All the usual anagrams were used: tcnu, wkeanr, tarbasd, lasg, whero, fcuker. And culminating in the female shouting Jaunter ya bastard, and I waz gonna tell you I loved ya tha nite!
Now, the female of the piece is well known to ourselves. She’s one of those loveable Belfast brats who will turn into one of those loveable Belfast wimmen, standing on the street in her pyjamas, hair net in place, shouting at her neighbours to stay tha feck away from her man. The kind of woman who would be the central character in a Belfast version AbFab, but without the charm and dignity. So we were quietly rooting for the fella; this could be his chance to walk away, to escape the fate that actually going out with the girl would be. We were hopeful.
But then, on the way home from work, they were spotted shagging like wild mink under a flyover. Young love, it seems, found a way.
And, in a few years, Wife Swap will have a new star.